Well hello blog...

It's been a long time!

Yes, I've been MIA and this will probably be the only post for another few weeks!
I have been super busy working and school and Cole and drama, that there is no time to fit this in. Like, seriously, no time. There are not enough hours in my day to get done what I need to get done.

Cole is super amazing, cute as ever, but also naughtier than ever. I blame the terrible 2s but I've been told it extends to the 3 and 4s as well. Oh so excited....

Anyway, I recently became a Mary Kay Beauty Consultant and I'm very excited for this! It seems like a great opportunity to earn a little bit of money, and I really hope it works out for you. I'm free to ship for free, or deliver locally :) Also, as part of my training, I need 30 girls to do facials on. If you're in Lincoln, please consider coming to Studio Pink on 56 and Holdredge as my guest. It's free and there are no obligations. Just a good time! Those parties are on Tuesdays. If you are not free those days, consider throwing a Mary Kay party, or just letting me come in to your home to give you a free facial and show you the wonders of Mary Kay.

cibarra69@marykay.com
if you are interested in products, a free facial, booking a party, or becoming a team member!

xo

Turning 21.

I haven't blogged for a while and I thought, turning 21 is the perfect way to come back to my blog.

First of all, turning 21 almost felt surreal. I've felt older than 21 for almost 2 years, that actually being legal was almost kind of like, "shouldn't I have been doing this for a while now?"

My day started out with a delicious breakfast in bed, thanks to my man, and a full day off. My mom also surprised me by coming over and taking me out to lunch where I got my first (legal) margarita!

The night was great as well. I did the traditional "bar crawl". It wasn't much of a crawl, though, because I didn't want to get wasted! It's so funny that 3 years ago when thinking about my 21st, I was out til all hours of the morning and drinking every last drop. Now, all I could think about was getting to bed when midnight rolled around, and although I did drink plenty, I knew when to stop so I wouldn't be hungover this morning. Being hungover and taking care of a toddler is *not* a good plan, ha!

So anyway, my friends and I went out to a couple of bars. At one, they gave me a birthday hat and a free drink for the next time I went in. They were all so much fun, except for one place that was having a "party night" but really it was just a couple table of Asian people who were singing karaoke. And our "lemon drop" shots weren't really legit lemon drops, haha. It's ok, I'm so glad I had friends with me who showed me a good time!

I'm so glad I got to go out for my 21st and get away from my "mommy duties" for one night.
How did you spend your 21st? Or what are you planning to do for it?
Comment!

Wow, society.

So, I get pretty pissed when I see pictures or comments about teen mothers. Actually, I get pretty damn heated. I had my child at 18 and *obviously* people have made stereotypes on teen moms. WE ARE NOT ALL TRASH, BITCHES. YES, I had my child when I was young, yes I had help from my parents, and yes, I had government help for some time. But guess what? I'm a damn tax payer too! I work 2 jobs and pay taxes on both, so any of you saying that people that have government assistance cheat the system, or are taking the easy way out, fuck you. I don't sit on my ass all day, so please, don't flatter yourself thinking that your paying for my damn groceries, cause so am I! Plus, because I want to make more money to take care of my family, I can't get govt assistance because I make too much. So there ya go, how about people stop making comments about teen moms in general, when you don't know the situations. I know plenty of young moms get help they need while working their asses off. If you have a problem with the way a young mom lives their life, please take it up with them, but it is so hurtful to see people's misconceptions about young/teen moms. I'm not asking you to reward me, because my amazing son is a great gift, but I'm asking you to shut the fuck up, unless you have a problem with a specific person because you know their life.

Can you tell that's a hot button for me? Shout out to my other young mommas who are doing everything they can for the babies.
Xoxo

Baby boy.

In a little more than 12 hours, I will officially have a 2 year old. Um, what? Yeah, 2. Agh, I can't believe it, AT ALL. My little baby is a baby no more. He's talking, running, singing, drumming, etc. He is crazy! He puts sentences together, learns words just by listening to people's conversations, and is just such a big boy!
I'm so proud of be this little one's mama! To think that 2 years ago, I was in the hospital at this time having contractions. I was actually waiting to get my water broken so my labor would progress! And now here I am, entering the terrible 2's with my gorgeous son.
As I sit here, he's throwing a tantrum, and the next minute, he's coming up to me saying "Hi mama, wah you mama." How can I get mad at that? ;)
I'm so excited to see what this next year brings for my family and I! We had a birthday party for Cole this past Sunday, so as soon as I get all of the pictures, I will post a couple here :)

xoxo
C

S#!t's about to get real....

Ok, every one that reads this blog knows how much I love Teen Mom and 16&P. I can relate to it fully, I really can! We all go through similar hardships and I find comfort in knowing I'm not the only mother going through this. The thing that has been bothering me lately, though, is the "glamorizing teen pregnancy" question and claim that the show has been receiving. Up until today, I always said "NO WAY!", but now, I'm thinking "Maybe it does..."

Being a young mother myself, I know the hardships I am going through. Just thinking if I had a camera in my face, I might not be going through all of this. My family is struggling with money issues *so hard* that I can't pay all of my bills and I have to work *every day* to ensure that things do get paid, even if not on time. On the show, you never see these girls going through money problems. Maybe in the first season, yes, almost everyone has a job and has something go wrong with money, but now? They all have new cars, new houses, they've bought their own homes, moved to new places, etc. Gah, it bothers me! I do realize that these girls do other things than just be Teen Moms, but they started on the show and made money off of the show. Now they are probably set for a while, if not for life! Not even to mention that their kids probably have their college paid for once they get there. It's so disheartening because I'm sure to young moms, this is something they could have if they could get on the show. So in a way, yes, this show is glamorizing being a young mom. It's sad, because, I don't know how to say this without sounding entitled but....I feel like if they can have it so easy at this age, why can't I? And the reason why I can say they have it easy is because I am also a young mom. I got pregnant at the same time they did, I had a baby as a teenager just like they did, but they are riding around in nice cars and buying houses while I'm struggling to pay my electric bill before my rent takes all of my hard-earned money. It makes me sick, it really does. I'm so glad that those girls got a big "break", although I do agree that they did have to give up a lot of privacy, but they are taken care of. They don't have to worry about things like I do. Maybe I'm just bitching because I'm going through a lot of things right now, but having a pay check like they do would be so helpful in this moment. I just hate living like I am. Being uncertain about so many things in my life, it makes me very emotional and although being emotional at times is ok, I'm sick of being like this every day.

How do you get through tough times?

xo
C

Am I really happy?

Right now, I'm not sure. I've been fine, but fine is not happy. Fine is just that, fine. My relationship is fine, but I feel that we've been suffering lately. We've been together for about 3.5 years and have definitely had ups and downs (just read old posts in this blog!!) but have definitely gotten to a good place. Now that we are here, I just feel that we don't know where to go with it. We both love each other completely, that's not the problem. The thing is, we are not used to this relationship. We are used to a volatile, unhealthy relationship. We didn't hang out that much, and when we did it was partying. After I got pregnant, Andrew still wasn't stepping up and was gone all.the.time. I barely saw him unless it was convenient for him. Even when Cole was born, Andrew was out multiple times a week at all hours. It was frustrating, but I got used to being with him, but without him. Now that he's not the "party" guy anymore, it's different. It's something that will take time to get used to, only because it's a whole different world for me.

Anyway, Andrew and I sat down tonight and chatted a little bit. He's really missing Grand Island and his friends there. I completely get that. Andrew doesn't really have friends in Lincoln and I think it's bringing him down. I hate to see him sad or lonely or just frustrated. I, on the other hand, do not really miss GI. I miss my mom, I miss living in her house (rent free, hello!), I miss being young and free, but I don't actually miss being there. I like Lincoln. I like my freedom. I really like that I'm doing what I wanted to do; baby or not. So, here's the dilemma. I don't want my boyfriend to be unhappy, because that makes our relationship suffer. I want him to be happy, because I want to happy with him. What do we even do? It's confusing...


xo

Look at that face.

"everything I do, I do for you." This can be applied to many things in life, but especially applies to my little man. Seriously, my life revolves around him. I can't believe I went from being 100% about me to all about Cole. I love it though. I work so hard to make sure my family stays a float and Andrew is doing a great job as well!

In other news, I got a second job! We were doing okay as it was, hut my serving job can be so unpredictable that I needed to find a laid back second job. So I'm working at a tanning salon that is getting ready to open. It's minimum wage, but at least I know what I'm making for sure when I go in there instead of hoping to make so much money. I will still keep my serving job, because there are days I make *great* money, but at this point, I want a change of pace and a paycheck. And this job is so laid back and easy that it will be a nice break from working in a restaurant. I feel like a stereotype though. I'm a young mom, struggling, now with two jobs. I don't care, I think I'm doing a good job. I am sad that I'm giving up time with Cole, though. I hate that, but I will have evenings off that I will be able to have supper and play time with him. I also het breakfast and a little play time in the morning. I'll just have to make the best of my situation. One day I'll be able to spend all day with him and I hope he never resentment towards me in the future. Obviously he won't remember this time, but I'll always be working 2 jobs or working a job and going to school and I'm going to be struggling for awhile. It's what I set myself up for by getting pregnant so young. By having a child so young. By being so irresponsible, I have in turn, made myself so responsible it hurts! No, but really, my life is about to get 10x more hectic than it already was!

Hopefully, I'll still have "me" time once in a while and friend time would be great! We'll see how everything goes, and I hope I don't go insane!

Xoxo

Boys vs. Girls

I'm currently watching Dance Moms (why? I don't know, background noise I guess.) and it made me think of the drama behind moms of groups like this. Obviously, we see that most of the drama of this show is between the dance teacher, Abby, and the moms. The kids just have to deal with their crazy moms. This reminds me of my sister being in cheer leading and my mom never wanting to go to any meetings or anything really having to do anything with the parents because of the drama between the parents. If there was something they didn't like, there was drama, and my mom's not like that. Sure, there was drama between the cheer leaders as well, but that comes with the territory of a bunch of teenage girls.
So, this makes me think. Is it the same way with boys and sports? Is there drama between parents and coaches, or just between parents? I want Cole to be involved in a lot of things, if he likes them. I also want to be very involved with anything he does, I just want to know if I will have to prepare myself for drama. I hate drama, but I don't want it to stop me from being involved with his sports or extra activities! So let me know, if any parents or family were ever involved in football, soccer, or hockey and if there was animosity or drama between parents.

Pregnancy/Motherhood Reality TV

We all know my blog is based off of being a teen mom and the show's 16&P and Teen Mom. Well, more and more, I've seen other shows on tv as well, even if it's just a "special" episode. Last year (or longer) I watched a show about a school for pregnant moms and young mother's to help them finish high school. They accommodate the children to make it easier for mother's to focus on school. Well, today, I watched the show Birth Moms, and realized that one thing that a lot of shows are failing to show, is how hard it is to be an adoptive mom. Sure, MTV shows Catelynn Lowell through her adoptive process and beyond, but that's where it stops. It was nice to see other mother's doing the same thing (although these girls are more troubled than our loved TM's). The show was heart-wrenching because all of these women were not first time mother's, so we think, "why give up a second or third child?" We can't answer these fully based off the show, I don't know these girls, but a lot of what they talked about was finances. Financially not being able to care for a child. Let me tell you from a first hand experience: having a child is EXPENSIVE! And yes, I did capitalize and bold that word, because it really is! I don't make much money, Andrew doesn't make much money, but what's weird is that although he makes minimum wage + a little bit, and I make just a tad more than that, we'd have plenty of money if we were single. If it was just us two doing what we are doing now, we'd have so much money left over each month. As it is now, we have $0 for ourselves and many months have struggled with paying our bills on times. SO yes, having a child is a money suck. I completely get why these women come to adoption, I am glad they did. When I first found out I was pregnant, both abortion and adoption ran through my mind, so it's a possibility for each of us that get pregnant to make that decision. To go through with it, is so much more. Seeing these women cry but still make the tough decision is heart-breaking and heart-warming at the same time. They have given the gift of life to many other deserving parents. I cried a lot during this show.

I also watched the finale of 16&P and cried all during that. Kristen was pregnant when her fiance passed away. He drowned in the ocean, the same water she was in as she was drowning as well. She was saved and he was missing. How heart-breaking! Then, she goes in to pre-term labor and her son Lucas was born 1 month early at 3 lbs 3 oz. Wow! Just to think this young woman lost her fiance, was pregnant, and then had a hard pregnancy, and tough first few weeks as a new mommy. What a strong woman. She is someone I want to get to know. I couldn't even imagine not having Andrew for the rest of our lives, and Cole not knowing his father. It breaks me, and I wish all the best to Kristen, her baby boy, and the rest of her family!


What are your thoughts on these shows? Do they do any good? Are they just annoying at this point? Let me know in the comments!

Little man.

Wow, as frustrating he is, being his mother is reward and makes up for every tantrum. Just watching him grow and learn! I keep hearing new little phrases that I thought were babbles just the day before, but no, they are new words! And he repeats everything, and I mean everything! Luckily, both Andrew and I have tamed our curse words (mine are almost non-existent these days, yay!) so there is no naughty words coming out of our young son's mouth!
Cole is also a water baby. He's in love with being in the pool, so luckily we have one at our apartment complex. Even when he's shivering because he's cold, he doesn't want to get out! It's so cute. He loves jumping in the pool and letting me catch him. He'll say "1...2...1....2" and then jump in. Can't say 3 yet! :)
I could talk about him and his accomplishments all day, all year probably, but I'm sure there will be more everyday that I will update on. He *will* be 2 in 2 months, so there will be new challenges that come along with having a 2 year old. I just can't wait to give him his birthday party. It will probably be intimate this year. Just family, and a few friends/babies will be invited and we'll have it in the clubhouse of our apartment. Yo Gabba Gabba theme and hot dogs and hamburgers will be served! I've been planning along with the help of Pinterest (check it out and help out if you'd like!)

Enjoy this beautiful weather!
xo

These are trying times, people.

Gah. These days have been so frustrating. I don't know if I'll make it through terrible two's. Not only that, but I'm stuck in my house all.day.long. I don't hang out with anyone, I don't even really have friends anymore! It's so maddening and I don't even know what to do. I find myself so short-tempered lately, and I feel like a lot of times it goes toward my sweet baby, which is not fair. Sure, he is more frustrating than ever, but it sure doesn't help that I will occasionally just yell. That does nothing! But, Cole is crazy these days. I mean seriously, I never knew that a toddler could make me cry at least once every day. He throws the worst fits, especially in front of people. He'll throw himself, hit me, scream bloody, and so many other things, it's so embarrassing. I almost always break down right there. It's just so hard to feel like a strong or good mom when those things are happening. It really breaks my heart every time. My sweet boy is not-so sweet anymore.

I'm going to keep trying to do my best, but soon, I think it will get to be too much. I need to get out more, even if it is just myself, so I don't get so overwhelmed with home. I also need to start working more so I don't feel so incompetent around here. It's just so hard only having one car. Who would've known that even at this age, I still feel like life is ahead of me, we're playing a game, and I have no idea how to play. I know I'm so young, but it's a frustrating feeling having such  grown up responsibilities without having the years or knowledge. I don't know if I really want these responsibilities anymore, and that's also frustrating, I made a choice that is here for the rest of my life without even thinking about any consequences, but here it is, laid in front of me, for the rest of my life.

I know this is kind of "complain-y" and sounds like I may just want to give Cole "up", but I don't. I made the decision to keep him when I did, and that means I'll keep him throughout the terrible two's and the even worse teenage years ;). Thanks for reading my rantings. Anyone else feeling like this lately?

Just imagine...

...When I was around 26 weeks pregnant, I applied to be on 16 & Pregnant (what was I thinking?!) I know why I did, I wanted to show the world that it's not exactly ok to be pregnant at a young age, but it won't hinder the rest of your life. In a way, I'm *really* glad I didn't get a slot on the tv show: I would hate all of the paparazzi, attention (a lot of times negative), not being able to have my "normal" life, and having people have an intimate look on my *very* rocky relationship during my pregnancy. The biggest reason I'd even *want* on that show, is to show young women to be careful when having sex! Especially unprotected. It may be "whatever" in the moment, but it's not so whatever when your fate is handed to you on a stick you pee on. I still want to show young women that you need to be careful, but to also have a plan if a surprise ever finds them. I feel like I can be that role model for young women who don't want to be in my situation, or find them self in a situation similar to mine. I really don't know how I want to do it, or how to get started, but I really plan to do something like that.

Teen Mom: The Final Season

Oh my gosh, can you believe it! The original 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom girls are in their last season. It starts June 12 @ 10 pm on MTV. I'm very excited to "catch up" with them again. It does bring up some emotions though, because during the first season of Teen Mom I was pregnant! So these girls are girls I had something in common with. I learned parenthood with. It makes me *very* emotional actually. Just thinking that their kids are turning 3, makes me realize that Cole's just about to be 2.
Where has the time gone? Where is my little newborn who would cry a sweet little cry, or my infant who was just learning to eat solid foods. Now he's a toddler, entering his terrible two's. He makes and breaks my day, gives the best kisses, says please and "gracias", and loves with his whole heart. Ahh, it's really sad and exciting to see him grow up. Sad just because I know he won't always be my little boy, but exciting because I get to witness his learning and growth.

Anyway, watch the Teen Mom trailer here! This season won't disappoint!
xo

Coley Guacamole!

Wow, he's been a handful lately! I give all mother's props who have been through this stage, it is TOUGH. He'll be 2 in 2 months, and he's already entered the "terrible" stage. Who would've thought my angelic boy could break my heart everyday with the way he acts? Seriously, heartbreaking. 2 nights in a row now that he has screamed bloody murder because he has to go to bed. Cried because I was so overwhelmed. Can't do it another day!
He is pretty good for everyone else, it's just mommy that he's got wrapped around his finger. :(
Hopefully I can get the hang of dealing with a terrible two's monster, but only time will tell. I need to be strong!

Mother's Day.

Happy Mother's day to all you special mama's! I hope you at least get a break from your duties today!

I'd like to go ahead and dedicate this to my mom: Alma. She has done so much for me my whole life, and especially in the last couple of years. I don't even know where I'd be without her! She has also become one of my best friends. It's so nice to have someone with experience to talk to! She's also an amazing Grandma, some days I'd go insane if she didn't take him for a few days. I love her so much and will never measure up to what she has done for me as a mother, but all I can do is thank her and appreciate her. So thank you, mommy, for all you've done. I wouldn't be half the woman today without you. :)

I hope one day Cole feels the sake gratitude towards me.
Xo

Justin Bieber's Mom.

So, for all of you that don't know, Justin Bieber's mama was also a teen mom! I didn't know this until I watched Never Say Never (J.Biebs movie). Today, the Biebs released his new single "Turn To You" a Mother's Day Dedication to his mom! I really like the song and it's amazing to hear that this teen mom did it like the rest of us are doing it now! Look at her son, amazing! She did a wonderful job. It makes me aspire to do even *better* for Cole. So if you haven't listened to it, here it is! Enjoy
xo

Cars and other things.

GAH. Why do cars have to be so expensive?! Right now we've been using just my car, because I haven't been able to drive anyway (I got my license suspended in March). Now, I'll be getting my license back next week-ish, and I still won't have a way to get around. I hate asking for rides, but that's the only way I can get anywhere. Andrew works as a delivery driver, so he uses my car for that, which is fine. But when I get my license back, I'll only be able to work around his schedule. BLAH. The only way we'll really be able to get a car for him is if he takes out a loan, but paying a loan every month, on top of car insurance, on top of getting plates, on top of rent, on top of bills, on top of LIFE, would be really hard you know? Meh, I stress myself out way too much, but this is the truth, now isn't it. Life would be so much easier if money wasn't one of the biggest factors out there.
RANT OVER!


On a good note, Andrew and I got the new apartment, for sure. :) We got our "acceptance" letter today and we move in some time next week, but we get our keys and sign the lease on the 7th! YAY. So at least that's good :) Thanks for letting me rant, y'all.
xo C

New Day.

Ah, I can't believe it's Thursday. My "weekend" starts today! :) My last 2 classes are also today, so that's a plus!

Speaking of Thursday, when does your "weekend" start? What do you do over the weekend?
Unfortunately I'll be working Friday and Saturday, but gotta make some money! I'm paying two rents next month (wah!) and so I need to get as much money as I can!

On another note, moms: do you belong to a mom group on the internet or in real life? What do you all do to be a part of the group? What kind of group is it?
I've been looking for a group to be a part of in real life, but there's a lot of older women with their children and I just always feel so awkward, like they are looking at me and judging. Plus no group can compete with my facebook mom group. We've all been together since our kids were born (June-Aug 2010), some of them longer than that! If it weren't for those other mothers, I'd probably be depressed and crazy.

Everyone have a wonderful day!
xo Caro

Awesome!

Can you believe that teen pregnancy rates are down drastically last year?! That's awesome. This is the lowest rate since the 1940s! 34 per 1000 young women will get pregnant from ages 15-19. I'm very proud that everything is dropping, but it's time to make it even lower for this year! http://www.hlntv.com/video/2012/04/19/call-mtvs-teen-mom-farrah-abraham

Teen parents, this is where we come in! It's time to educate our friends, our community, and all others about sex! itsyoursexlife.org is a great place to start and a very good web site to help with teaching others about safe sex.
I know I want to try harder in my community. It's very hard because the city where I come from is full of teen parents. I graduated with about 10-13 pregnant or already teen mothers (including myself). It's rough. And I know a lot of young women who are pregnant now, and some are even having second children at young ages! This is very tragic to me, as I now how hard it is to be a mother and still want to be selfish. I want to go out some nights, I want to be able to leave the house by myself at a moment's notice, hell, I'd just love to go to the bathroom or take a shower by myself! I couldn't even imagine having 2 right now, I'd be pulling my hair out! So because I know the consequences involved in having a child at a young age, I am protecting myself. I started off with the birth control pill, but it didn't work out so great. I just kept forgetting to take it, sometimes for as long as week! More recently, I got the Mirena IUD. It is awesome! I've only had it about 1.5 months, but as soon as it got put in, I felt more at ease. Learn more here: http://www.mirena-us.com/

Anyway, it's time for us to step up as an example of what can happen when we're not careful. Obviously the lifestyles we lead are not ideal, but I do love my life and my child. I have made the best of my situation through everything and I would never change it. But now, I want to give those that still have the chance at a "normal" young adulthood to *not* give that up and just be free :)
xo Caro

Whoa!

I have been so busy these past few months with school/work/family life! It is so crazy! This is my last week of class and then I have finals next week. I'm so nervous, but also so relieved for this semester to be coming to an end! I'm proud to say I've done pretty well in my classes!
So many things have been going on, so I'll catch you up:
 1. Getting a new apartment!!!!
 2. Finishing up school
 3. New daycare for Cole!
So we applied for a new apartment, put our deposit down, and we're about 90% sure we'll get it. We should hear about it tomorrow or the next day; YAY!
I'm also almost done with school (as mentioned above).
Cole started going to a new in-home daycare as of today. He loves it SO much, it's crazy. Doesn't even cry or whine when leaving us, which partially breaks my heart, but also makes me happy that he's content.

I'm so loving life right now and I'm hoping it gets better and better! I'm just putting my life in God's hands right now and letting him guide me in the right direction. So far, everything is turning out pretty perfect :)
Goodnight bloggers xo Caro

Lil man Model :)

April.

I really feel that I need to keep up with this blog. When I was pregnant I tried to blog every week, sometimes more, and I love that I have a testament of my life for me to look back on.
Lately I've been feeling a lot better. School isn't awful, I have a babysitter for Cole, bills are caught up, and Andrew has a new job! It really makes me happy that everything feels like it's finally falling in to place. We may even be able to get out of this crappy apartment by the summer! We are going to be looking at a couple places starting tomorrow. I am so excited!
Cole is doing amazing as always. The terrible 2's are creeping up on us, though, and it's very trying. He throws a lot of tantrums and doesn't want to eat what seems like ever. I get so frustrated, but luckily, I'm pretty patient with him, which I hope pays off after this "phase" is over.
I'm starting to work out again, and this time I hope to keep to it. Some of my other mommy friends will be doing it with me, so I think that will really help me want to do this. Especially after I see them working hard for over a week, I hope that I will do the same.

Everyone have a happy day! xo

I went to...

...Wal mart the other day and really contemplated getting ankle weights. Then I read another teen mom blog and decided I need to go back and get them. Why not just wear them around the house and feel just a little bit better about yourself? why not! They are like $12 at walmart, so I think I'll get the after work on Sunday. Just thought I'd let y'all know about it! Do what you think feels good for YOU, not what everyone else is doing, cause I will TELL you if you do what everyone else is doing, you will overwhelm yourself. If you do it at your own pace, you will see results. WE CAN DO IT!

xoxo

Not gunna lie..

I have definitely slacked off on working out. I'm going to do Zumba today, so I'll get 20 minutes in, but otherwise I had a full day of cleaning and laundry ahead of me :(
I did join Weight Watchers which I'm pretty excited about! I love all of the "cheat sheets" and recipes they have! Once we go grocery shopping I'm going to try A LOT of them out! As well as the ones I have pinned on Pinterest!
My weight is staying about the same, but I do feel a lot more confident and better about myself. I can't wait until I see the inches "fall" off or the scale number go down. Just gotta keep trying, even if I fall off the bandwagon for a couple of days, I can't quit!

I hope you all are happy or satisfied with your body/diet endeavors! You can do it!
xo

Just...

..joined weight watchers! Super excited to see if I can lose some of this weight. I'm about 15 lbs overweight right now, and that makes me super sad! I did Zumba today and it was so fun! I'm going to the gym tomorrow and I think I'll either run or go on the elliptical or bike tomorrow and then do Zumba again. Yay. I'm so proud that I'm actually going through with all of this!

xo

Hello

I've been horrible with updating. I forgot how busy I get when I have school, on top of work, and then having my son. Anyway, my weight loss/diet thing is going well! I have been eating moderately well, I barely drink pop anymore, and I'm working out. I joined my school's gym so I'm going to be going to fitness classes 2x a week. I also want to do quick, middle-of-the-day work outs between classes. You know, 20 minutes or less, just get on the treadmill, or elliptical, or whatever. I'm excited! Even my sister and Andrew already have noticed a change, and even though I can't really tell, I feel a lot better about my body and I'm much more confident. :) I may not ever wear a 2 piece again, but I love how I'm feeling about myself!
All of you struggling with body issues can get over it, I promise! I'm halfway there!
xo

Um, wow.

I have been taking all of this WAY TOO LIGHTLY. I know I am overweight and I am not doing enough to lose any weight and feel better about myself. I am at 144 now (2 lbs gone) but I have been eating better! I have to up my motivation though. I've gone running once and done my 30 day challenge twice this week which is not where I should be. I should have run at least one more time and do my 30 day challenge one more time, so although tomorrow is the weekend, I am doing it tomorrow! It's my punishment, since I skipped out today and yesterday. Any one else struggling with losing weight and gaining motivation?

I need help! I wish I had a group of walking/jogging moms that I could join here, or someone that totally got my busy schedule and could work out with me "after hours". Hopefully I'll find something/someone soon! I really think I might buy a fitcard from my university's rec center and do zumba once or twice a week! It sounds fun and I would be with other people my age. We'll see though, for now, this is it!

xoxo

Aaand again.

There I go again not blogging everyday like I said I would. I decided to do running 2x a week and the 30 day challenge 3x a week. I've already failed. I did the challenge yesterday but I didn't run today. Didn't get up early enough before work and then after work I was "too tired". I know, excuses! Maybe I'll make up for lost time tomorrow. We'll see!
Xo
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Day one.

Today is January first, which means my New Year's Resolutions start TODAY! Hopefully I can keep up all year with this, but we'll see. Here are my "rules" for myself:
1. No pop during the 5 weekdays; on weekend I can have 1 pop
2. Light/moderate exercise 5 days a week. C25k/jogging 3 days a week, 30 day challenge 2 days a week.
3. Be up before 9 to do all exercises.
4. Learn to cook! And try to cook as healthy as I can!
5. Be happy, do what's best for my family, and be the best mother and girlfriend I can be!!

So today, I weight 146 lbs, I'm 5', and I'm finally realizing if I don't start something NOW it'll never get done and I'll be unhappy with my body forever. I also just want to be confident again! I used to be so confident and now I never think I look good even if I try.
My biggest goal is to be at 120 lbs by summer and then 110 by the end of the year. So total that is 36 lbs I need to lose. But for the first few months I'm focusing on the 26 I want to lose. Woo hoo! I'm pumped. Maybe I'll get a few more followers as well! I tried this before and did it for like 3 days, so I need to last SO much longer! I want results!
I'll also be posting a picture EVERYDAY of myself and my surroundings. I think it will be fun. The first picture is not a great one because I just got off work and it was a looong night. But nevertheless, here it is. Happy New Year's everyone!! xo