S#!t's about to get real....

Ok, every one that reads this blog knows how much I love Teen Mom and 16&P. I can relate to it fully, I really can! We all go through similar hardships and I find comfort in knowing I'm not the only mother going through this. The thing that has been bothering me lately, though, is the "glamorizing teen pregnancy" question and claim that the show has been receiving. Up until today, I always said "NO WAY!", but now, I'm thinking "Maybe it does..."

Being a young mother myself, I know the hardships I am going through. Just thinking if I had a camera in my face, I might not be going through all of this. My family is struggling with money issues *so hard* that I can't pay all of my bills and I have to work *every day* to ensure that things do get paid, even if not on time. On the show, you never see these girls going through money problems. Maybe in the first season, yes, almost everyone has a job and has something go wrong with money, but now? They all have new cars, new houses, they've bought their own homes, moved to new places, etc. Gah, it bothers me! I do realize that these girls do other things than just be Teen Moms, but they started on the show and made money off of the show. Now they are probably set for a while, if not for life! Not even to mention that their kids probably have their college paid for once they get there. It's so disheartening because I'm sure to young moms, this is something they could have if they could get on the show. So in a way, yes, this show is glamorizing being a young mom. It's sad, because, I don't know how to say this without sounding entitled but....I feel like if they can have it so easy at this age, why can't I? And the reason why I can say they have it easy is because I am also a young mom. I got pregnant at the same time they did, I had a baby as a teenager just like they did, but they are riding around in nice cars and buying houses while I'm struggling to pay my electric bill before my rent takes all of my hard-earned money. It makes me sick, it really does. I'm so glad that those girls got a big "break", although I do agree that they did have to give up a lot of privacy, but they are taken care of. They don't have to worry about things like I do. Maybe I'm just bitching because I'm going through a lot of things right now, but having a pay check like they do would be so helpful in this moment. I just hate living like I am. Being uncertain about so many things in my life, it makes me very emotional and although being emotional at times is ok, I'm sick of being like this every day.

How do you get through tough times?

xo
C

These are trying times, people.

Gah. These days have been so frustrating. I don't know if I'll make it through terrible two's. Not only that, but I'm stuck in my house all.day.long. I don't hang out with anyone, I don't even really have friends anymore! It's so maddening and I don't even know what to do. I find myself so short-tempered lately, and I feel like a lot of times it goes toward my sweet baby, which is not fair. Sure, he is more frustrating than ever, but it sure doesn't help that I will occasionally just yell. That does nothing! But, Cole is crazy these days. I mean seriously, I never knew that a toddler could make me cry at least once every day. He throws the worst fits, especially in front of people. He'll throw himself, hit me, scream bloody, and so many other things, it's so embarrassing. I almost always break down right there. It's just so hard to feel like a strong or good mom when those things are happening. It really breaks my heart every time. My sweet boy is not-so sweet anymore.

I'm going to keep trying to do my best, but soon, I think it will get to be too much. I need to get out more, even if it is just myself, so I don't get so overwhelmed with home. I also need to start working more so I don't feel so incompetent around here. It's just so hard only having one car. Who would've known that even at this age, I still feel like life is ahead of me, we're playing a game, and I have no idea how to play. I know I'm so young, but it's a frustrating feeling having such  grown up responsibilities without having the years or knowledge. I don't know if I really want these responsibilities anymore, and that's also frustrating, I made a choice that is here for the rest of my life without even thinking about any consequences, but here it is, laid in front of me, for the rest of my life.

I know this is kind of "complain-y" and sounds like I may just want to give Cole "up", but I don't. I made the decision to keep him when I did, and that means I'll keep him throughout the terrible two's and the even worse teenage years ;). Thanks for reading my rantings. Anyone else feeling like this lately?