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Hello, folks! It's been 8 months since I've written here AND it's time for a new blog. I'm shedding my "teen mommie" image and moving on and growing up. Follow my new blog for updates on me & Cole, my amazing boyfriend, recipes, fun workouts, and tips on every day life!
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Seriously.

I have never wanted Cole to grow up without the influence and relationship of a father. This is why I stayed with Andrew for so long, I wanted Cole to have a family.

Now that Andrew and I have split, Andrew has not spent more than a few days at a time with his son, and lately not even a couple of hours.

What can be going through someone's head that they don't want to see their child, or don't try hard enough to come around? Or that they wouldn't pay any child support, are you not concerned about your child and if they are eating, have clothes, or a place over his head?

It is sickening to me. It really is. But for me, I have to be strong for Cole. I am his mommy and daddy and I have to continue to provide through everything, and give Cole the example he needs to be successful in life. I love that little man more than anything in the world, I hope he can grow up realizing that I've done everything to be there for him.

Xo,

C

Since the last.

It has been a busy, hectic, and dramatic last 7 months since I've posted. I'm worlds away in my life since then, and I'm not where I want to be, but thank God I'm not where I was. So many things have changed, I don't even know how to update!

Since then, Andrew and I have split up for good. We haven't lived together since November, and it was definitely a dramatic split. As of now, I'm only trying to be civil with him, but let me tell you how hard that can be when I feel like I'm still just doing everything on my own. 

I've dated here and there, but nothing has stuck, which is fine. I know good things take time, I'm allowed to be picky, and I will find him when everything is right.

Now for the good stuff: Cole. Ahh, he is almost 3 years old. I can't even wrap my head around it. I'm almost a mom to a 3 year old. 3 years isn't a long time on the spectrum of life, but when I put it in terms of where I was 5 years ago, and where we are now, 3 years is a lifetime! Cole has such a personality, and he definitely keeps my hands full! I'm so in love with him, and even on the worst and most trying days, he can make me feel so special. 

He is getting so big and is such a mini me!

Other than Cole and work, my summer is starting off very laid back, but I am so thankful for that. I've had some hard days, and I'm starting to feel the light. 

I just moved to a place, just Cole and I, and it just feel so right. We've only been here a couple of days, but it is home. The last two places have a lot of negativity built in to them, so I'm excited to build this home with love and family. 

I'm hoping to keep writing, because I need this release, but also I promised an English teacher I would. Let me tell ya, she is one hard bitch, I would not want to disappoint, and I want to keep my word.

Xo,

C

Well hello blog...

It's been a long time!

Yes, I've been MIA and this will probably be the only post for another few weeks!
I have been super busy working and school and Cole and drama, that there is no time to fit this in. Like, seriously, no time. There are not enough hours in my day to get done what I need to get done.

Cole is super amazing, cute as ever, but also naughtier than ever. I blame the terrible 2s but I've been told it extends to the 3 and 4s as well. Oh so excited....

Anyway, I recently became a Mary Kay Beauty Consultant and I'm very excited for this! It seems like a great opportunity to earn a little bit of money, and I really hope it works out for you. I'm free to ship for free, or deliver locally :) Also, as part of my training, I need 30 girls to do facials on. If you're in Lincoln, please consider coming to Studio Pink on 56 and Holdredge as my guest. It's free and there are no obligations. Just a good time! Those parties are on Tuesdays. If you are not free those days, consider throwing a Mary Kay party, or just letting me come in to your home to give you a free facial and show you the wonders of Mary Kay.

cibarra69@marykay.com
if you are interested in products, a free facial, booking a party, or becoming a team member!

xo

Turning 21.

I haven't blogged for a while and I thought, turning 21 is the perfect way to come back to my blog.

First of all, turning 21 almost felt surreal. I've felt older than 21 for almost 2 years, that actually being legal was almost kind of like, "shouldn't I have been doing this for a while now?"

My day started out with a delicious breakfast in bed, thanks to my man, and a full day off. My mom also surprised me by coming over and taking me out to lunch where I got my first (legal) margarita!

The night was great as well. I did the traditional "bar crawl". It wasn't much of a crawl, though, because I didn't want to get wasted! It's so funny that 3 years ago when thinking about my 21st, I was out til all hours of the morning and drinking every last drop. Now, all I could think about was getting to bed when midnight rolled around, and although I did drink plenty, I knew when to stop so I wouldn't be hungover this morning. Being hungover and taking care of a toddler is *not* a good plan, ha!

So anyway, my friends and I went out to a couple of bars. At one, they gave me a birthday hat and a free drink for the next time I went in. They were all so much fun, except for one place that was having a "party night" but really it was just a couple table of Asian people who were singing karaoke. And our "lemon drop" shots weren't really legit lemon drops, haha. It's ok, I'm so glad I had friends with me who showed me a good time!

I'm so glad I got to go out for my 21st and get away from my "mommy duties" for one night.
How did you spend your 21st? Or what are you planning to do for it?
Comment!

Wow, society.

So, I get pretty pissed when I see pictures or comments about teen mothers. Actually, I get pretty damn heated. I had my child at 18 and *obviously* people have made stereotypes on teen moms. WE ARE NOT ALL TRASH, BITCHES. YES, I had my child when I was young, yes I had help from my parents, and yes, I had government help for some time. But guess what? I'm a damn tax payer too! I work 2 jobs and pay taxes on both, so any of you saying that people that have government assistance cheat the system, or are taking the easy way out, fuck you. I don't sit on my ass all day, so please, don't flatter yourself thinking that your paying for my damn groceries, cause so am I! Plus, because I want to make more money to take care of my family, I can't get govt assistance because I make too much. So there ya go, how about people stop making comments about teen moms in general, when you don't know the situations. I know plenty of young moms get help they need while working their asses off. If you have a problem with the way a young mom lives their life, please take it up with them, but it is so hurtful to see people's misconceptions about young/teen moms. I'm not asking you to reward me, because my amazing son is a great gift, but I'm asking you to shut the fuck up, unless you have a problem with a specific person because you know their life.

Can you tell that's a hot button for me? Shout out to my other young mommas who are doing everything they can for the babies.
Xoxo

Baby boy.

In a little more than 12 hours, I will officially have a 2 year old. Um, what? Yeah, 2. Agh, I can't believe it, AT ALL. My little baby is a baby no more. He's talking, running, singing, drumming, etc. He is crazy! He puts sentences together, learns words just by listening to people's conversations, and is just such a big boy!
I'm so proud of be this little one's mama! To think that 2 years ago, I was in the hospital at this time having contractions. I was actually waiting to get my water broken so my labor would progress! And now here I am, entering the terrible 2's with my gorgeous son.
As I sit here, he's throwing a tantrum, and the next minute, he's coming up to me saying "Hi mama, wah you mama." How can I get mad at that? ;)
I'm so excited to see what this next year brings for my family and I! We had a birthday party for Cole this past Sunday, so as soon as I get all of the pictures, I will post a couple here :)

xoxo
C