Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Pregnancy/Motherhood Reality TV

We all know my blog is based off of being a teen mom and the show's 16&P and Teen Mom. Well, more and more, I've seen other shows on tv as well, even if it's just a "special" episode. Last year (or longer) I watched a show about a school for pregnant moms and young mother's to help them finish high school. They accommodate the children to make it easier for mother's to focus on school. Well, today, I watched the show Birth Moms, and realized that one thing that a lot of shows are failing to show, is how hard it is to be an adoptive mom. Sure, MTV shows Catelynn Lowell through her adoptive process and beyond, but that's where it stops. It was nice to see other mother's doing the same thing (although these girls are more troubled than our loved TM's). The show was heart-wrenching because all of these women were not first time mother's, so we think, "why give up a second or third child?" We can't answer these fully based off the show, I don't know these girls, but a lot of what they talked about was finances. Financially not being able to care for a child. Let me tell you from a first hand experience: having a child is EXPENSIVE! And yes, I did capitalize and bold that word, because it really is! I don't make much money, Andrew doesn't make much money, but what's weird is that although he makes minimum wage + a little bit, and I make just a tad more than that, we'd have plenty of money if we were single. If it was just us two doing what we are doing now, we'd have so much money left over each month. As it is now, we have $0 for ourselves and many months have struggled with paying our bills on times. SO yes, having a child is a money suck. I completely get why these women come to adoption, I am glad they did. When I first found out I was pregnant, both abortion and adoption ran through my mind, so it's a possibility for each of us that get pregnant to make that decision. To go through with it, is so much more. Seeing these women cry but still make the tough decision is heart-breaking and heart-warming at the same time. They have given the gift of life to many other deserving parents. I cried a lot during this show.

I also watched the finale of 16&P and cried all during that. Kristen was pregnant when her fiance passed away. He drowned in the ocean, the same water she was in as she was drowning as well. She was saved and he was missing. How heart-breaking! Then, she goes in to pre-term labor and her son Lucas was born 1 month early at 3 lbs 3 oz. Wow! Just to think this young woman lost her fiance, was pregnant, and then had a hard pregnancy, and tough first few weeks as a new mommy. What a strong woman. She is someone I want to get to know. I couldn't even imagine not having Andrew for the rest of our lives, and Cole not knowing his father. It breaks me, and I wish all the best to Kristen, her baby boy, and the rest of her family!

What are your thoughts on these shows? Do they do any good? Are they just annoying at this point? Let me know in the comments!

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Little man.

Wow, as frustrating he is, being his mother is reward and makes up for every tantrum. Just watching him grow and learn! I keep hearing new little phrases that I thought were babbles just the day before, but no, they are new words! And he repeats everything, and I mean everything! Luckily, both Andrew and I have tamed our curse words (mine are almost non-existent these days, yay!) so there is no naughty words coming out of our young son's mouth!
Cole is also a water baby. He's in love with being in the pool, so luckily we have one at our apartment complex. Even when he's shivering because he's cold, he doesn't want to get out! It's so cute. He loves jumping in the pool and letting me catch him. He'll say "1...2...1....2" and then jump in. Can't say 3 yet! :)
I could talk about him and his accomplishments all day, all year probably, but I'm sure there will be more everyday that I will update on. He *will* be 2 in 2 months, so there will be new challenges that come along with having a 2 year old. I just can't wait to give him his birthday party. It will probably be intimate this year. Just family, and a few friends/babies will be invited and we'll have it in the clubhouse of our apartment. Yo Gabba Gabba theme and hot dogs and hamburgers will be served! I've been planning along with the help of Pinterest (check it out and help out if you'd like!)

Enjoy this beautiful weather!

Monday, May 21, 2012

These are trying times, people.

Gah. These days have been so frustrating. I don't know if I'll make it through terrible two's. Not only that, but I'm stuck in my house I don't hang out with anyone, I don't even really have friends anymore! It's so maddening and I don't even know what to do. I find myself so short-tempered lately, and I feel like a lot of times it goes toward my sweet baby, which is not fair. Sure, he is more frustrating than ever, but it sure doesn't help that I will occasionally just yell. That does nothing! But, Cole is crazy these days. I mean seriously, I never knew that a toddler could make me cry at least once every day. He throws the worst fits, especially in front of people. He'll throw himself, hit me, scream bloody, and so many other things, it's so embarrassing. I almost always break down right there. It's just so hard to feel like a strong or good mom when those things are happening. It really breaks my heart every time. My sweet boy is not-so sweet anymore.

I'm going to keep trying to do my best, but soon, I think it will get to be too much. I need to get out more, even if it is just myself, so I don't get so overwhelmed with home. I also need to start working more so I don't feel so incompetent around here. It's just so hard only having one car. Who would've known that even at this age, I still feel like life is ahead of me, we're playing a game, and I have no idea how to play. I know I'm so young, but it's a frustrating feeling having such  grown up responsibilities without having the years or knowledge. I don't know if I really want these responsibilities anymore, and that's also frustrating, I made a choice that is here for the rest of my life without even thinking about any consequences, but here it is, laid in front of me, for the rest of my life.

I know this is kind of "complain-y" and sounds like I may just want to give Cole "up", but I don't. I made the decision to keep him when I did, and that means I'll keep him throughout the terrible two's and the even worse teenage years ;). Thanks for reading my rantings. Anyone else feeling like this lately?

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Just imagine...

...When I was around 26 weeks pregnant, I applied to be on 16 & Pregnant (what was I thinking?!) I know why I did, I wanted to show the world that it's not exactly ok to be pregnant at a young age, but it won't hinder the rest of your life. In a way, I'm *really* glad I didn't get a slot on the tv show: I would hate all of the paparazzi, attention (a lot of times negative), not being able to have my "normal" life, and having people have an intimate look on my *very* rocky relationship during my pregnancy. The biggest reason I'd even *want* on that show, is to show young women to be careful when having sex! Especially unprotected. It may be "whatever" in the moment, but it's not so whatever when your fate is handed to you on a stick you pee on. I still want to show young women that you need to be careful, but to also have a plan if a surprise ever finds them. I feel like I can be that role model for young women who don't want to be in my situation, or find them self in a situation similar to mine. I really don't know how I want to do it, or how to get started, but I really plan to do something like that.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Teen Mom: The Final Season

Oh my gosh, can you believe it! The original 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom girls are in their last season. It starts June 12 @ 10 pm on MTV. I'm very excited to "catch up" with them again. It does bring up some emotions though, because during the first season of Teen Mom I was pregnant! So these girls are girls I had something in common with. I learned parenthood with. It makes me *very* emotional actually. Just thinking that their kids are turning 3, makes me realize that Cole's just about to be 2.
Where has the time gone? Where is my little newborn who would cry a sweet little cry, or my infant who was just learning to eat solid foods. Now he's a toddler, entering his terrible two's. He makes and breaks my day, gives the best kisses, says please and "gracias", and loves with his whole heart. Ahh, it's really sad and exciting to see him grow up. Sad just because I know he won't always be my little boy, but exciting because I get to witness his learning and growth.

Anyway, watch the Teen Mom trailer here! This season won't disappoint!

Monday, May 14, 2012

Coley Guacamole!

Wow, he's been a handful lately! I give all mother's props who have been through this stage, it is TOUGH. He'll be 2 in 2 months, and he's already entered the "terrible" stage. Who would've thought my angelic boy could break my heart everyday with the way he acts? Seriously, heartbreaking. 2 nights in a row now that he has screamed bloody murder because he has to go to bed. Cried because I was so overwhelmed. Can't do it another day!
He is pretty good for everyone else, it's just mommy that he's got wrapped around his finger. :(
Hopefully I can get the hang of dealing with a terrible two's monster, but only time will tell. I need to be strong!

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Mother's Day.


Happy Mother's day to all you special mama's! I hope you at least get a break from your duties today!

I'd like to go ahead and dedicate this to my mom: Alma. She has done so much for me my whole life, and especially in the last couple of years. I don't even know where I'd be without her! She has also become one of my best friends. It's so nice to have someone with experience to talk to! She's also an amazing Grandma, some days I'd go insane if she didn't take him for a few days. I love her so much and will never measure up to what she has done for me as a mother, but all I can do is thank her and appreciate her. So thank you, mommy, for all you've done. I wouldn't be half the woman today without you. :)

I hope one day Cole feels the sake gratitude towards me.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Justin Bieber's Mom.

So, for all of you that don't know, Justin Bieber's mama was also a teen mom! I didn't know this until I watched Never Say Never (J.Biebs movie). Today, the Biebs released his new single "Turn To You" a Mother's Day Dedication to his mom! I really like the song and it's amazing to hear that this teen mom did it like the rest of us are doing it now! Look at her son, amazing! She did a wonderful job. It makes me aspire to do even *better* for Cole. So if you haven't listened to it, here it is! Enjoy

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Cars and other things.

GAH. Why do cars have to be so expensive?! Right now we've been using just my car, because I haven't been able to drive anyway (I got my license suspended in March). Now, I'll be getting my license back next week-ish, and I still won't have a way to get around. I hate asking for rides, but that's the only way I can get anywhere. Andrew works as a delivery driver, so he uses my car for that, which is fine. But when I get my license back, I'll only be able to work around his schedule. BLAH. The only way we'll really be able to get a car for him is if he takes out a loan, but paying a loan every month, on top of car insurance, on top of getting plates, on top of rent, on top of bills, on top of LIFE, would be really hard you know? Meh, I stress myself out way too much, but this is the truth, now isn't it. Life would be so much easier if money wasn't one of the biggest factors out there.

On a good note, Andrew and I got the new apartment, for sure. :) We got our "acceptance" letter today and we move in some time next week, but we get our keys and sign the lease on the 7th! YAY. So at least that's good :) Thanks for letting me rant, y'all.
xo C