Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Blessed.

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I am just so blessed. I have a healthy, happy son, a boyfriend who treats me so well, and a roof over our heads. If I think about the "little" things, I have everything I need! I am also blessed to have a job, friends, school, family, etc. I love my life!
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Wednesday, December 14, 2011

How crazy

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December has just been a CRAZY month for us. So many ups and downs within our household: money problems, school taking over my life, Cole going through some terrible 1 and 1/2's! (Is that supposed to happen?!)
I still pride myself on being a one woman show, but the truth is, I'M NOT! I have a wonderful boyfriend who stays at home with Cole, cleans, cooks, takes care of the home front, I have my mother and Andrew's mom that help us out when we are short on money, and my dad who is always there for us with money and advice as well. I am not a one woman show, and this Christmas I want to show my appreciation for those people THE MOST. I love my family and they are it! I know we don't have a lot of money, but I do want to make sure I show them that I truly care and appreciate everything they do for me.
On another note, I'm done with fall 2011 semester of college! Woo Hoo! As of this moment I've passed all of my classes with a C or higher. So proud riiiight here! :)
I hope everyone is planning on having a great Christmas! Even with our money troubles we are getting by and I hope to continue doing so as we bring in the new year. God bless! xo

Monday, December 5, 2011

complain, complain.

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You know, I realize that there are people that are less fortunate than me, but I feel pretty fuckin' unfortunate right now. Money is always hard to come by for us, but it sucks even more right now. What am I going to get Cole or Andrew for Christmas? Well, nothing, because I don't even have money to buy groceries. I'm so sick of this. I mean, my mom tells me to ask God to help me but I do. And has he? Well, sorry to say this GOD, but no he hasn't. I completely have faith that ONE day I'll finally be able to relax and not have thoughts of "what are we going to eat today?" because we have 2 things in our fridge and some random cans in our cabinets. I'm just really sick of living this way. It's really no way to live. It makes me ill and I'm always feeling tired, sick to my stomach, or cranky because I just don't live a normal life anymore. Yes, I put myself here but FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. Sorry for the profanity but I can't yell that out loud right now because Cole's sleeping and I need to get something out of my system for now at least. I hate ranting and raving but UGA;LKJSDF;LAJF;LAJ, I'm just sick of my life. I really, really am. Not very many things can make me happy anymore and that's just so sad. Hopefully when I ready this in a few months, I'll be looking at this point thinking "Wow, I'm so glad I got past that." not something like "I wish I could go back there bc now we're even worse off than before."

WHY do these money problems keep coming our way. What kind of karma do I have built up on me?
I'm just seriously so, so sad.