Thursday, July 28, 2011

Umm

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I don't think I posted, but if I did, disregard this announcement...
My Cole is a year old! His birthday was on Sunday. Didn't go as planned, he was constipated all weekend and just didn't feel good. His party is this coming weekend though, so hopefully he feels better after that.

I'm moving back for college in about a week. I'm so NOT excited. I've gotten so used to my moms again that I'm not excited for responsibility. UGH!

Well, those are my boring updates, I'll update again after Cole's party!

Xo
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Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Sometimes sad, sometimes happy.

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There are days that I wake up and I can't believe I had a child. I'm 19 years old and I'm a mom! It's still so crazy to me!
Although it makes me super happy, it makes me a little sad as well. I feel like I could've done so much better for myself. My life could've been so different and maybe, this sounds kind of bad, but better. As in, I would be going in to my second year of college, not just second semester. I would probably either not be in a relationship, or be in a healthier one. I would have a lot more money. And I would've been able to be a teen. Ugh, I know, I sound horrible for saying it, but it's true.
Although this life is a struggle, I'm in love with my son. And that's what matters.
XO
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Busy, stressful life.

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I feel like becoming a mom at my age is sort of a burden. I have no money, not many friends, and not much support. I don't know if this comes with every young mother's journey, but it for sure is here with mine.
Yes, there are times that my parents and Andrew's are supportive, but sometimes they are also not so supportive. I don't blame them. They didn't ask us to have a child at our age. Andrew and I need to be the responsible ones, but I don't quite know how to be fully responsible. I think I've done a pretty good job with raising Cole, and Andrew's a good dad, but he's even less responsible than me.

On top of that, my mom's a bitch. Sorry to say that, but we can not get a long. She doesn't respect me as a mother or a daughter and I can't take that anymore, it's not fair. I remember why I couldn't live with her any longer. :S
I've been crying all day because of her and how stressed out I am and she just doesn't get it. She had an abortion at 18, while I had my baby, so she doesn't get it. So whatever, I can't have a good relationship anymore, and I don't want to make Cole suffer because he does love her, but once I move back out, I don't know if I can come back here at all. I just don't think I can.

There's my venting. Hope everyone has a good night, better than mine anyway, but I think that's completely possible. Night.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

My baby..

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..is pretty much no longer a baby. He's turning one in about 2 weeks. That's so scary to me! I'm so used to hims being little and he's growing up so fast. And now that he's actually turning one freakin' year old, it makes me feel so OLD and grown up and soon I'm going to have a toddler, then preschooler, then kiddie, then preteen, then teenager, and then he's gone... :( WAH!

Hopefully his party goes well. His theme is monkeys and he's got his outfit planned, his cake, his invites, and his smash cake. The last things I need to get are the plates, napkins, cups, and drinks. So, I definitely need to make some more time for that!

Well, everyone have a good night* <3

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Ugh

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Men. That is all.
Hope everyone had a fun and safe 4th of July!
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®