Monday, March 29, 2010


this last week, I've been more tired than I've ever been in my WHOLE life. Not exhausted or whatever like I felt in my 1st trimester, but I'm actually tired. I have dark circles around my eyes and bags under my eyes. I missed so much school last week, and I didn't even go today. It's so close to graduation, it's hard for me not to be worried about school. BUT I'm so tired all of the time, it's hard not to sleep in a little bit some days. UGH it's frustrating! I'm just glad school's almost over.

On the bright side, it's such a nice day out! It's amazing that spring is finally showing up in good ole Nebraska. :) I think I'll go play outside with my dog in a little bit!

I GET TO FIND OUT THE BABY'S SEX THIS THURSDAY! :D I am so EXCITED! I can't wait to find out if it's a boy or girl. I don't even mind if it's a boy or a girl, I just want a healthy baby. AH, I can't wait to see my babyyyy. And I know Andrew can't wait either! He's super excited because he wants to find out that it's a BOY lol.
I actually had a dream last night that the doctor told us that our baby's going to be a boy! Either way, I don't mind lol.

Well, it's too nice out to be on here, so I will update most likely on thursday and let everyone know what's up! <3

Saturday, March 20, 2010


This morning I think I felt the baby move! It was like a little pitter patter in my lower stomach, and I was just waking up and I felt it and got excited and then got startled when my phone rang, and then it stopped. I'm not sure if it was my baby bean but I sure hope it was! It was the best feeling in the world!

Anyway, I watched Maci and Chelsea on the Today Show, they were on there on Friday I believe, and I just started bawling. I don't know why exactly, I just did. I think I'm just starting to realize that in about 4 months, I'm going to have a baby and my life is going to do a complete 360! My life is going to be tough and not always happy, but I'm just glad that I have my family to back me up. I don't want to be sad about my circumstances, but I am a little bit right now. I think I'm especially sad because I see how all of the couples on Teen Mom and 16 & Pregnant are ending up, and I hate it. Now that I'm going to have a baby with Andrew, I don't want our relationship to become even harder, because I want him to be around for the baby all of the time, not just part time. I love him so much, and I love the baby so much, that I want us to be a little family but also be HAPPY.

I'm really having trouble finding clothes now. I'm starting to get bigger, that it's really hard for me to fit in to any of my clothes. I feel huge lol. But also, I'm trying to look for dresses, because I have some semi-formal things that I need to go to and nothing to wear! Well, I have a lot to wear, but it's all too small! And also, my prom dress. UGH. I have to order a size 10 in it because I'm gettting so big! it's crazy lol.
anyway, I'm going to go be the photographer for my cousins, cause this is their first winterball ever! :) bye!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

High school and stuff...

It's so weird that in less than two months, I will never be a high school student again. It's very bittersweet, because I don't know whether I'll miss any part of it or not. I'm sure I'll miss some people, but I don't care about others. Also, I won't miss the drama, I know that for sure. In college and the real world, nobody cares about your drama and people look down on you for shit talking, they don't really join in. Oh well, whatever. I'm sick of most aspects of high school, I'm glad that I'm out!

Anyway, I'm watching this show Addicted on TLC, and it's super interesting. I can definitely relate with some of it. Not that I've ever been addicted to anything, but I know many and especially one person dear to my heart that has. It breaks my heart to see that, and that's why I've never tried a drug. I've gotten curious but never actually done something because I can't. I could never cause that pain to any of my family. :( it's so sad!

Anyway, baby stuff now. My mom has been buying a lot of basics: onesies, booties, hats, socks, towels, bedding, and blankies. It's amazing. I need to start buying stuff for me and that baby too! Especially a lot of clothes. Ahh, I just want to know if it's a boy or a girl tho! EVERYONE CROSS YOUR FINGERS FOR TOMORROW. HOPEFULLY DR. KENNA WILL DO AN ULTRASOUND. She said she wanted to wait but maybe I can beg her? :) lol, I want to atleast see my baby! I'm already 4 months and 3 weeks! Uh hello?! I need to see my baby bean<3!
Well, I'm probably going to sleep soon, its getting late! Night all! <3

Sunday, March 14, 2010


The past week has been GOOD. Andrew is just making me so happy and making me fall more and more in love with him.
We've spent the past few days together just hanging out, and playing call of duty, and just being with each other. It's been really nice.
I think I've learned to let go a little bit, instead of me calling him all of the time, he calls me, and if he wants to do this thaang then I let him do it, because the more I try and stop him and nag him about it, the more he'll want to do it behind my back.
I'd like to try and keep everything open between us..because everything feels so much better that way!
I've been thinking a lot about Andrew and I and how long we'll be together...well more so, how long we're capable of being together. As of right now, I really feel that I could spend the rest of my life with him, but then there's always those downs that make me think that he has a lot of changing to do!

Anyway, back to school tomorrow. Woo, how fun...NOT.
Better try and get some sleep, night!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

I feel like it's been forever.

But it's really only been like 3 days! Nothing has really happened, ha. My life is pretty much the same every day, but spring break has been very relaxing so, it's good.
Andrew and I are doing well..not great, but well. We can't ever do great until he becomes responsible and considerate most of the time instead of just sometimes, or never.

So anyway, I have been thinking a lot about what it's going to be like to graduate. It's crazy that in about 7 weeks, I will no longer be a high school student. YAY! And summer will be amazing too. I get to go to Texas for a week or so and see my daddy and my 2 baby sisters! I'm so excited. Every summer I look forward to seeing them, not to mention beautiful Texas. It's just going to be crazy driving to Texas with my sister and being super prego! AHH. And I don't know if I can go with out Andrew! He's like my husband now a days. I'm not super sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but its whatever right now. I'm not really trying to focus on HIM anymore, like I usually do, but now I'm trying to focus on myself, the baby, and US as a whole (me, Andrew, and the baby).

Anyway, I'm done with today. It isn't a bad day necessarilyl, but I feel like my family is just ganging up on me. Well my mom and my sister anyway. It's like, wow, thanks for making me feel like the biggest piece of shit on earth guys. Especially with hormones like I have now, it's like anything they say hurts 10x more and makes me cry 10x harder, and I really don't want to cry right now. Or ever, ha.

Well anyway, I'll update later when I have something to actually update about. Love ya guys!

Monday, March 8, 2010


I've been thinking lately about why I was every attracted to Andrew in the first place. He's unreliable, unresponsible, loud, big show off, stubborn, impulsive, and an ass. & Honestly, I think those are all of the reasons I was attracted to him in the first place. I didn't realize it until now, so maybe all that attraction was subconsciously but it happened. When I met Andrew, I was a quiet and shy PARTY GIRL. I know that sounds like it doesn't go together lol, but I am honestly quiet and shy.
Anyway, I think I was attracted to all his qualities, because I didn't want anything serious. I just wanted to have someone to be with and have fun with at parties!
But you'll be happy to know that Andrew does have good qualities. He's been really cute about the whole pregnancy thing and slowly but surely is stepping up. I mean very slowly but still. Like last night, we went over to a friends house and they all smoke and obviously I'd rather not have people smoke around me, but it's not my house and I can just choose to walk away. Anyway, one person lit up a cigarrette pretty close to me and Andrew pushed him out of the room and told everyone they had to smoke in the back room lol. I love him. Even though sometimes I feel that his bad qualities over power his good.
Oh well....

I still haven't felt the baby move, but I reallllly want to! I'm so excited to feel my baby bean move. Ahhh!

Ok good night everyone, muah.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Just another day...

Andrew and I have had a good day so far. We're both happy and at the moment, he is going to the store to get my hot dog buns because I reallllly want a hot dog. It's funny because I usually don't like eating hot dogs! But baby's craving it so mommy's getting it!

There's not really much going on with the baby. Still haven't felt him move, which makes me kind of sad :(. I really want to feel the baby move! Baaabbyyy bean please do it! I can't wait! :)

Well, I hope everyone is having a good day, and good lives and what not. Ok :) good bye.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Well, I'm content

I've decided to NOT beg Andrew to try harder, or be a great boyfriend or do things for me, because I shouldn't have to. He should want to be there for me and the baby, and if he's got other priorities, I will enjoy my time alone and with other people. It's just how it should be.
Anyway, other than that little vent, I'm pretty content. I'm actually hanging out and enjoying my family and friends. I honestly thought I was losing Briana, but I think a lot of it was my fault. I got pregnant and I made Andrew my life, I think I was just scared to lose him. I still am, definitely, but it's not as bad, because if he leaves me, then he never cared and I will not care anymore. I'm just glad that I hung out with Briana today for a little bit! She got her tattoo, it looks so good :) I can't wait to get my own. Not for a while, but still!
Well my belly's growing, my pants officially no longer button. One pair does but its super tight and uncomfortable, I'm not going to suffocate the baby! :P
I'm so excited for this baby and I really feel like it's going to be a baby boy. It doesn't bother me at all, I will love him or her no matter what, because it's my baby! duh. :)

Anyway, school is a little stressing at the moment. Especially english. ugh. I hate working on this term paper, it sucks. my paper sucks ha.
Well, I feel that there is nothing else important to talk about here, so I'm going to end this post before I ramble about nothing. Have a great night everyone!