Tuesday, December 20, 2011


I am just so blessed. I have a healthy, happy son, a boyfriend who treats me so well, and a roof over our heads. If I think about the "little" things, I have everything I need! I am also blessed to have a job, friends, school, family, etc. I love my life!
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Wednesday, December 14, 2011

How crazy

December has just been a CRAZY month for us. So many ups and downs within our household: money problems, school taking over my life, Cole going through some terrible 1 and 1/2's! (Is that supposed to happen?!)
I still pride myself on being a one woman show, but the truth is, I'M NOT! I have a wonderful boyfriend who stays at home with Cole, cleans, cooks, takes care of the home front, I have my mother and Andrew's mom that help us out when we are short on money, and my dad who is always there for us with money and advice as well. I am not a one woman show, and this Christmas I want to show my appreciation for those people THE MOST. I love my family and they are it! I know we don't have a lot of money, but I do want to make sure I show them that I truly care and appreciate everything they do for me.
On another note, I'm done with fall 2011 semester of college! Woo Hoo! As of this moment I've passed all of my classes with a C or higher. So proud riiiight here! :)
I hope everyone is planning on having a great Christmas! Even with our money troubles we are getting by and I hope to continue doing so as we bring in the new year. God bless! xo

Monday, December 5, 2011

complain, complain.

You know, I realize that there are people that are less fortunate than me, but I feel pretty fuckin' unfortunate right now. Money is always hard to come by for us, but it sucks even more right now. What am I going to get Cole or Andrew for Christmas? Well, nothing, because I don't even have money to buy groceries. I'm so sick of this. I mean, my mom tells me to ask God to help me but I do. And has he? Well, sorry to say this GOD, but no he hasn't. I completely have faith that ONE day I'll finally be able to relax and not have thoughts of "what are we going to eat today?" because we have 2 things in our fridge and some random cans in our cabinets. I'm just really sick of living this way. It's really no way to live. It makes me ill and I'm always feeling tired, sick to my stomach, or cranky because I just don't live a normal life anymore. Yes, I put myself here but FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. Sorry for the profanity but I can't yell that out loud right now because Cole's sleeping and I need to get something out of my system for now at least. I hate ranting and raving but UGA;LKJSDF;LAJF;LAJ, I'm just sick of my life. I really, really am. Not very many things can make me happy anymore and that's just so sad. Hopefully when I ready this in a few months, I'll be looking at this point thinking "Wow, I'm so glad I got past that." not something like "I wish I could go back there bc now we're even worse off than before."

WHY do these money problems keep coming our way. What kind of karma do I have built up on me?
I'm just seriously so, so sad.

Sunday, November 6, 2011


Sometimes I wish I wasn't so mature. I miss going out and having so much fun! I used to be a party animal and I don't necessarily miss that, but I do miss going out with my friends. I actually used to get invited to things and would go out. Now, I'm bored on the weekends. Andrew tries to entertain me, but I can tell he's bored too. I just don't know what to do anymore. I only have like 2 friends here and both of them have their own "party agendas" that I'm never invited to or know about. It does suck, I'm not going to lie. But it also sucks trying to find a babysitter so I'd rather have people come over here. But then I feel like it's boring over here. waaah :(

On another note, I've also run in to a fashion crisis. I have NO clothes. Well, obviously I have clothes, but not many. I used to know exactly how to dress, I looked cute everyday. I was never caught dead with my hair pulled back in a messy bun or in sweats, and now that's turned in to my wardrobe. I wear yoga/sweat pants, a t, a hoodie, and moccasins everyday. And my hair is alwaaays in a pony with a headband. Seriously. And I rarely wear make up. what to do? I don't have money to go buy some new clothes, so I have to make due with what I have. 2 pairs of skinnys and a bootcut flare jean, 1-2 dresses/tunics, a couple of tanks, 3 cardigans, maybe a couple of v necks. and a loooot of t shirts. For shoes, I have a pair of really cool/cute nike high tops, black bootie moccasins, black ugg bearpaw boots, black sequin sperrys, and um maybe like some random clogs. Help me out?! How do you guys dress? Maybe send me some ideas if you have any, I'd love any help! I want to feel pretty again!

Oh, one more thing. I got in a freakin' car accident on Wednesday and my car might be totalled!! seriously? it sucks, but I get a rental car tomorrow. Here's to hoping I can afford it!! Everyone have a great night/week.
Muah xo.

Friday, November 4, 2011

I hope people actually read this...

...I feel like I have a story to tell. Of struggles, succeeding, fighting, late nights, high school, college, work, etc. I feel like, hey, my story is actually worthwhile to tell kids about, hoping that they don't get in the situation I've put myself in.
I'm not famous and my life isn't broadcasted to all the world to see like the lovely ladies of Teen Mom and Teen Mom 2, but I feel like I may be able to help in some way. Maybe not right away, but I hope that in my career, I can help those that want to hear. :)

xo babes, good night.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011


I've been reading through my old posts and it's CRAZY to see how much I've been through in the last couple of years. It's been SO tough but I'm definitely blessed with an amazing family and friends as well! I am so blessed to have my son, with a roof over our heads, clothes to wear, and food (sometimes only a little) to eat.
I'm stressed to the max with bills that need to be paid ASAP! It's very stressful but I'm trying to keep a level head and I'm working my ass off! There's nothing much else I can really do! Please pray for us, that would be amazing!


Saturday, October 22, 2011


I never post here, but most of the time I think it's pointless. My life is like a full rotation: good, great, bad, worse, weird, and then back to good. It's all the same and right now it's "good". So yeah, that's my "updates" there!

Vent:: I've been trying to get food stamps and Medicaid for Cole and it's a hell ride. seriously. I've applied 3 times since August and WOW still nothing. They'll send me a letter saying what they need from me, the deadline, then I'll send it BEFORE the deadline, and then they send me a letter a couple weeks later saying they need MORE and don't understand my pay stubs, and A DAY later, they send me a letter saying my app was DENIED because I didn't give them the necessary paperwork. GRRRRR SO MAD!!!

Anyway, we're super strapped for money and I'm just getting irritated about it. I hate being in this situation especially because I want my baby boy to have everything and anything and it makes me sad I can't give him that :( wah.

Well, I'm going to go, I have a lot of homework to do, and I'm tired.
Night! xo

Sunday, October 2, 2011


I have a lot of wishes for this life time:
I wish I had more time to fulfill all of my dreams (school, career, vacations)
I wish I had more money to fulfill said dreams.
I wish I could just get married and it would work.
I wish that I was always strong enough to deal with my life.
I wish I could lose weight and inches in my problem areas.
I wish I could give Cole everything and more than what I had...

Isn't that just such a waste of time? I wish all these things and even new things each day, but what does it even do?
My two wishes for today are: I wish I wrote more on here and I wish more people read and gave me feedback.
I love blogging, I love writing, and I love it when people can connect to what I'm talking about. It's amazing to know that there are other people that feel the same way I do.

What do you all think I should write about more often? What are you more interested to see?

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

It's been a while.

Nothing's really been going on. I've just been enjoying my last days here at my moms house. I'm sad to go, I really don't want to leave my sister or my mom. And I'm not too excited to start school again. It's all so bittersweet!
Cole's getting so big, it's crazy! I love how I can see him learning new things. I love my little man.
Anyway, I'll probably post in the next couple of days and update on the move and starting school!

Thursday, July 28, 2011


I don't think I posted, but if I did, disregard this announcement...
My Cole is a year old! His birthday was on Sunday. Didn't go as planned, he was constipated all weekend and just didn't feel good. His party is this coming weekend though, so hopefully he feels better after that.

I'm moving back for college in about a week. I'm so NOT excited. I've gotten so used to my moms again that I'm not excited for responsibility. UGH!

Well, those are my boring updates, I'll update again after Cole's party!

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Sometimes sad, sometimes happy.

There are days that I wake up and I can't believe I had a child. I'm 19 years old and I'm a mom! It's still so crazy to me!
Although it makes me super happy, it makes me a little sad as well. I feel like I could've done so much better for myself. My life could've been so different and maybe, this sounds kind of bad, but better. As in, I would be going in to my second year of college, not just second semester. I would probably either not be in a relationship, or be in a healthier one. I would have a lot more money. And I would've been able to be a teen. Ugh, I know, I sound horrible for saying it, but it's true.
Although this life is a struggle, I'm in love with my son. And that's what matters.
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Busy, stressful life.

I feel like becoming a mom at my age is sort of a burden. I have no money, not many friends, and not much support. I don't know if this comes with every young mother's journey, but it for sure is here with mine.
Yes, there are times that my parents and Andrew's are supportive, but sometimes they are also not so supportive. I don't blame them. They didn't ask us to have a child at our age. Andrew and I need to be the responsible ones, but I don't quite know how to be fully responsible. I think I've done a pretty good job with raising Cole, and Andrew's a good dad, but he's even less responsible than me.

On top of that, my mom's a bitch. Sorry to say that, but we can not get a long. She doesn't respect me as a mother or a daughter and I can't take that anymore, it's not fair. I remember why I couldn't live with her any longer. :S
I've been crying all day because of her and how stressed out I am and she just doesn't get it. She had an abortion at 18, while I had my baby, so she doesn't get it. So whatever, I can't have a good relationship anymore, and I don't want to make Cole suffer because he does love her, but once I move back out, I don't know if I can come back here at all. I just don't think I can.

There's my venting. Hope everyone has a good night, better than mine anyway, but I think that's completely possible. Night.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

My baby..

..is pretty much no longer a baby. He's turning one in about 2 weeks. That's so scary to me! I'm so used to hims being little and he's growing up so fast. And now that he's actually turning one freakin' year old, it makes me feel so OLD and grown up and soon I'm going to have a toddler, then preschooler, then kiddie, then preteen, then teenager, and then he's gone... :( WAH!

Hopefully his party goes well. His theme is monkeys and he's got his outfit planned, his cake, his invites, and his smash cake. The last things I need to get are the plates, napkins, cups, and drinks. So, I definitely need to make some more time for that!

Well, everyone have a good night* <3

Tuesday, July 5, 2011


Men. That is all.
Hope everyone had a fun and safe 4th of July!
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Saturday, June 18, 2011


In less than 3 months, I will no longer be a "teen mom". I'll be 20 freakin' years old which is super weird to me!
The start of my "life". Even though it started with Cole, pretty much.
That is all..


I don't know if you all have ever seen that show, but I imagine you have. If not, it's a show about an addict and their family/friends. The family and friends set up an intervention for them.

I know this is so, I don't know, stupid I guess, but that show scares me to death of what could be with Cole.
There is some history of drug use and addiction in both mine and Andrew's family. It scares me that there is a possibility of him even ever trying a drug and then possibly getting addicted. I know this is so far fetched and may never happen but it just makes me not want him to grow up.
If he never grows up, he'll always be innocent, he'll always be my little baby boy. My perfect boy.
Ugh, I don't know why I had to think about that. But I guess I feel like it is a big possibility. I'm just scared.

Monday, June 13, 2011


Wow, I haven't written in my blog for weeks! I let Andrew borrow my computer so I've been doing everything on my phone and I finally figured out how to do this from my phone.
Things Cole has learned in the past month:
1. He takes steps! It's only 1-3 at a time, but he's getting there! I'm so proud of him.
2. He says "mada". It's the closest I can get to getting him to say "mama". I'll take it!
3. He now waves bye! It's a funny wave, but it's so so cute! <3
Father's Day is coming up! I'm excited for it, because Cole and I will get to see Andrew :) I'm getting him a simple grill, I know he'll love that.

In other news, I'm apartment/house/daycare searching. Our lease is up november, and I don't want to live at that apartment for another f'n year. I want something at least a little bit nicer in a better neighborhood. Wish us luck!

Goodnight, everyone. Follow me on twitter @carobabie :)
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

a big change for my little family...

I am moving out for the summer. Well, Cole and I are moving out this summer. It's not like a bitter break up or anything, I just think it's what's best for us for right now. I think that Andrew needs to learn that he's a father, needs to grow up, and needs to appreciate me! I do so much for him, he needs to see that if he keeps ignoring me, I won't be there anymore. I love him so much, I'm willing to do anything to make this relationship work.
I'm really excited to go live with my mom and work with the old crew, but I'm not too excited about living with out Andrew. I trust him fully, that's not the problem, but it will be sad to sleep alone at night...

SO BITTERSWEET. I'm already tearing up because I'm sad about leaving, but I feel like it just needs to be done...
Okaaaay...well that's it.

Friday, April 22, 2011

VENT..and other things.

Ok, so I love Andrew. A lot. Obviously why I've been with him for 2+ years. Probably why I've put up with a bunch of his shit..
That sounds bad, but really. He's had a job off and on during our relationship. All his money went to him, even when I was pregnant he didn't help me pay for anything, I paid for it or asked my mom. When Cole was born, Andrew pretty much quit his job. I don't really know why. But anyway, it's been such a struggle for Andrew to keep a job...let alone get one! Ugh, it's so frustrating!
Also, he did have a job at a supermarket but got fired because he called of 3 times or whatever. So anyway, the time he was there he made about $600, and I think I saw about $200-$300 of it for bills or whatever it was. Umm, so where did the other half of it go? Um, I don't really know. Something I don't approve of, thats for sure.
Anyway, although he's given me money, it's been very minimal. I've been working MY ASS OFF the entire time we've lived on our own. I started off by working 5 days a week, sometimes split shifts, and then paying all of the bills. by my damn self. Then when I started school, I started only working 3 days a week and still paying for things by myself. He got a job, barely paid for anything. And now, hm, I have about $100 of his money to pay the bills with. That's awesome. I have so much to pay for this month and I asked him for the other $100 he was going to give me and said "um it's my money!"
ARE YOU SERIOUS. We live in a crappy apartment we can barely pay for, have dish, phone & internet that we can barely pay for, have to pay for electricity, energy, gas for the car, Cole's things, but oh, I'm sorry Andrew, I didn't realize it's your money. You're right, you do what you want with it. It's not like all of my money goes to the bills, you & Cole. It's not like I make sure you two are taken care of before I even THINK about myself. No. I haven't been able to really buy anything for myself since before I was effing pregnant. But yeah, I'm sorry, I forgot it was your money..

So this month, as I'm struggling to pay for anything right now, I'm crying about everyday. The stress of paying the bills, doing this, doing that, always falls on me. I'm the one that has to make sure everything gets paid. And you know, I wouldn't even mind if that was my responsibility if I had more help actually paying for it. But I'm pissed. I'm sick of living with someone that thinks it's okay to act like they have no responsibilities. I'm sick of living with someone that only care about themself, and only wants to take care of themself. I'm sick of living with someone that leaves all of the fiscal responsibilites to a mother, hard effing worker, and full-time student. It's shit. It's a shitty situation and it's not fair to me. Or Cole.
I don't know what to do, what action to take. I don't want to break my family apart, and I know if I do I'll hear hell from ALL sides, but I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm sick of being the only adult in my house..

Anyway, I hope everyone has a happy easter! I'm going to my mom's house for the weekend, I'm SO excited to see her and spend time with her.

Thursday, April 21, 2011


It was like I was meant to fail Poli Sci..
I set my alarm last night for 645 AM so I could study. I got up, studied until about 8 and then figured I could sleep for just a biiit longer before my test at 930. Welll, I set my alarm again for 850, so I could just get up, fix myself up a bit, and then go take my test. WELL, guess what? I set my alarm for 850 PM. Ugh. I slept through my test. & She doesn't do any make-ups. So whatever. I guess I'm just supposed to fail that class. I don't care. I'll just have to do better next semester...


Anyway, Andrew got the job at Wal*Mart, but for now, we're still relyin on my measly income :/
I want to get a second job but don't know if that's a good idea..we'll see!
I guess I should go study and then play with my baby boy! His 9 month appt is monday, so excited!!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011


It is beautiful out! The sun is shining bright & I love it! It's still pretty chilly, but whatever. I'll take what I can get at this point.

Anyway, school is almost over. Next week is my last week of class & then finals and then, I'M DONE! For the summer anyway. It feels so good to finish my first semester in college. Ha, that sounds so weird. I'm definitely in dire need for this summer. And it's going to be a great one at that! Andrew's birthday is May 17, so that's REALLY coming up soon. My dad's is May 30. COLE'S BIRTHDAY IS JULY 24TH!!! I can't believe my little pride and joy will be a year old in about 3 months. That's too crazy to me. Already tearing up!
We're thinking about doing a jungle theme! And for one of his birthday presents, we're taking him to the Omaha Zoo! There is one here in Lincoln, but its a children's zoo, very small, and I haven't ever been to the Omaha Zoo. It looks amazing online, & Andrew says it's awesome :) So very excited!

Not too much else to update on. I'm trying to look for a second job for the summer but I want something that doesn't take up too much time and pays $10 or more. The reason for this is that I like working at Red Lobster. I've worked there for 3 years and just love the company. I want to work there over the summer, too, but it's just going to be very slow - it always is in summer. So that's my reasoning behind getting a second job. I don't know though. I guess I just might have to work at Red Lobster everyday this summer to make some good money!

I hope everyone's having a beautiful day!*

Thursday, April 14, 2011


I think I complain way too much. That is my biggest flaw, I think. I just complain and a lot of the times, I do nothing about it. I could be a lot more proactive in my life than I actually am..
Hard to admit, actually. Anyway, my life hasn't been all that exciting. Just being a mom, student, and part time server at the Lob. I'm just still trying to find that balance in life. I'm still not 100% sure if I want to pursue my BA. It sounds good and all, its just so hard focusing on school when I have a baby. Especially when I have a baby and a boyfriend that still acts like a kid. Don't get me wrong, I love Andrew, but our relationship is so inconsistent right now, I don't know if school can be for me. Everyone's like "you can do it, you can do it" and it's like I know I can, but I don't know if I want to work that damn hard for it. It's a struggle everyday. I hate it. I love it. I don't care about it, but I do. I don't know what I'm going to do. I signed up for my classes next semester and I pray to God that next semester goes better than this one, but I DON'T KNOW! I'm scared of failure and maybe that's why I don't want to go back. Or maybe it's because I'd like to pay all my bills on time and would rather work than rely on someone else to make most of the income.
I like having the security of when I'M making a lot of money that way I KNOW that things will get paid. With Andrew, he's a lot more irresponsible with his money than I'd like. I understand we're young and still learning, but c'mon. I need that consistent money coming in to pay. If it were just me, it'd be so easy. But it's not. I have a family, and I think we both need to be putting equal amount in. If not, how the hell is this family supposed to work? I don't know.
We both still have a lot of growing up to do. I just think some of my growing up is maybe not being so uptight. I need to learn to go out and have a good time once in a while. I need to learn to put myself first in some situations so I don't lose my mind. I need to learn that while being a mom is my first and foremost job, I need to be happy so Cole can be happy. And maybe I have learned that. I think I'm just scared to do anything "teen-like" because I don't want people that look down on teen moms to be "right" about me. I don't want to give them a reason to be like "wow, that's why teenagers shouldn't be moms" or blah blah blah. I don't know. I hate it when people talk shit. I hate it when they talk shit about me, and I think that's why I'm so careful about what I do. Because I do see a lot of teen moms go out excessively. Who's taking care of their babies? I don't know. It makes me feel sad, though. I don't know. Maybe I'm just an "over-the-top" mom.

Sorry about that rant. *vent over*

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

tribute to my mother/TM2 Reunion/update

Tribute to my mother:
I just want to say my mother is wonderful. Ever since I can remember, she has just been my best friend. She helps me out with WHATEVER she can. She is the greatest mother & grandmother anyone could ever ask for. She accepted my pregnancy (hesitantly) but she did. She helped me emotionally and financially when I thought I couldn't do it by myself. She was there for Cole & I and even Andrew who she has no obligation to, whenever any of us needed anything. She has been the best supporter ever! I can't say enough things about my mom to make her sound as good as she truly is. Her birthday is on Monday, and I don't know what to get her! I'm sure I'll think of something, but after all she's done for me since I found out I was pregnant, I feel like it needs to be very meaningful and perfect!

Teen Mom 2 Reunion:

All I can say about this is WOW. I was very emotional throughout the whole thing because I can relate to all of the girls..mostly. Jenelle, not so much, but whatever. Here's what I think about all of the girls!:
Chelsea: She's a beautiful, smart, wonderful mother. I'm happy she is so good to Aubree. Having said that, I think she needs to make the decision in her relationship life based on Aubree's well being. And I think her being with Adam is not healty for her OR Aubree. But I know she's a great mom and will ultimately make a decision that is good for her and her beautiful daughter!
Leah: She's beautiful, strong-willed, and a great mom! I admire her so much for being a great mom to twins and especially one with special needs. Both her girls are beautiful. Not going to lie, a little jealous that she is married and so happily married at that! I hope to one day get to that point with Andrew! I wish her all the best and hope Ali gets some answers!
Kailyn: What happened in the past, is the past, there's nothing you can do about that. I think both you & Jo need to work on your problems together or apart, I don't think you saw how much he actually cared about you and wanted to be there for you. It made me sad to hear that he saw you as his wife and all that. I felt really sad for him. But I do hope that you and Isaac and Jo are happy, together or apart. You all deserve it!
Jenelle: I'm sorry. I don't like you as the person we see on TV. Maybe you are really cool and really care to be a mom, but I don't see it. I feel so sorry for your son and even your naggy mom. I think they both deserve better. But for their sake, I hope you are truly working on yourself, because Jace deserves his mother.
That's my take on that! Sad to see them go, but SO excited to see the original girls!! :)

My dad and younger sister's are coming to see Cole & I. I am so excited! They are my half sisters, but they haven't met Cole yet. I'm so excited to see them because it's almost been a year!
Anyway, I guess there's nothing too new over here. Cole is babbling a lot more and clapping, it's so cute! He is standing in his crib and pack and play and virtually anywhere he has a hold on to something! It's so crazy. BLEH! Going to go buy his easter outfit tomorrow! So excited!

*night all!

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Lonnnnnnnng Niiiiiiiiiggggghhhhhttt....

Last night was terrible. Well the evening was pretty bad in general. Nothing specifically "bad" happened, but Cole is cutting a tooth. He has two already, but this one is bugging him like those two never did. It's the worst. He was the crankiest, fussiest I've ever seen him. He didn't go to sleep until about 12:30 AM. UGH! I was still awake even a little after that time because I was catching up on homework but it only took so long because I was trying to entertain Cole, write my paper, and do my math homework all at once, HAHA. Why do I stress myself out?!
Anyway, I finally gave him tylenol because I couldn't find his Orajel. That didn't really do anything. So I laid him down with me in bed and let him gnaw on my fingers and phone, it's his favorite. He finally fell asleep and so I went to lay him down in his crib and as SOON as I did, he woke up. I mean instantly. He started bawling, and I had a bottle ready for him and he refused it. He just wanted to be in my arms, with me, with daddy, not alone. I've never seen him act like that before. Also, he couldn't stop rubbing where his tooth is coming in with his fist and fingers, which I've also never seen him do before. Anyhow, it was a stressful night. I had to get up earlier than usual to catch the bus and Cole woke up at 2 ish and 530 ish. BLAH. Then as soon as the babysitter got to my house at 8, he was out and now he is in a good mood with her. Ha, good thing my son loves girls. Well for now.

Anyway, having a dilemma about what Cole will wear for Easter. Not sure if he should go casual or not. Hmm! Help me out.

Twitter, Facebook, Formspring, comment. Whatever! Thanks :)

Normal, Happy Life.

That's what I want. I want to be a normal teenager. I want to be a happy girlfriend. I know every relationship has their ups and downs, but I feel that mine has WAAAY more downs than ups. It's a constant struggle, every day. I wake up, ask to be taken to school, if he says no then I'm pissed. I don't want to walk there, I don't want to take the bus, I don't want to drive myself because there is never parking, and I feel that he can take me if he doesn't need to be anywhere else. That's probably selfish, but whatever. I feel that I deserve to be selfish every once in a while.
I feel like he doesn't understand the fact that if he tries to make me happy, it will make him happy as well. Because if I'm happy, most likely he will be too. Sometimes it doesn't work that way, but I find it to be rewarding most of the time.
I guess really, I just want to be happy happy happy. I feel that I wake up and Cole always makes my day, but then I have someone living in my house who sometimes doesn't want to even look at me. It's so sad. I don't know how we got to be this way, but it's discouraging and frustrating. I want to give up on us so bad, but at this point I still can't. I feel like we've gone through way too much to give up. We've made it through a teen pregnancy, which to me is a HUGE hurdle, and now we're just struggling on actually being parents TOGETHER. I don't think either of us struggle to be parents individually. I pride myself on being the best mom I can, and I'm happy to say Andrew is such a great dad. It's just together that sometimes we can't just get along.
I'm so sick of it. I want to be a happy couple. I wanted to get married and have more kids! At this point, I don't know if that will ever happen. I hope it does, but if not, I just hope whatever happens is the best for Cole. Because in the end, I want him to have the best life that I know he deserves, and that's all. If I have to sacrafice my happiness for him, I know I will in a heartbeat. I'll do anything for him. There are no boundaries. He's my future, my everything. <3


Wednesday, March 23, 2011

I love my life.

My life is SO crazy. I mean just crazy. I have an 8 month old baby, I'm a full time college student, I have a boyfriend that I live with, we live in a city where we don't have any family help, I work at Red Lobster, and blah blah blah. I never have time for myself! Or to be a teenager, but you know what? I honestly love my life. I love waking up once or twice to feed or love on Cole. I love going to school and then coming home to my loves of my life. I love giving Cole baths, feeding him, watching him grow up! I feel like I am one of the luckiest people on earth to have him in my life. To have the priveldge to raise my son feels like the best thing ever. Ah.

Alright, well update on Cole: He is crawling! Well sort of. It's still his modified crawl, but I count it as crawling! He is also clapping. All the time and especially when we start singing "Pat-a-cake" :) It is the cutest thing EVER. He also loves saying "dadada", "lalala", "gagaga", "yayaya", "tatata", and "hahaha". My baby boy is growing up! It's so amazing watching him learn. I love it, just love it.

Leave me comments about YOUR babies, or if you don't have a baby, just leave me comments about your amazing life :)

you can follow me on twitter @carobabie :)

Monday, March 21, 2011

Teen Mom: Not just a show on MTV

Ugh, honestly, it makes me sick to see how many girls younger than I, from my high school, are pregnant. I mean there are A LOT. I graduated with, I think, about 9 girls that were pregnant or had kids. Not including me, so I guess 10. Which kudos to all those girls. We graduated and are moms, YAY! But I look at all these girls who are younger than me that are pregnant right now, or just had kids, and it's like, "what are we doing to ourselves?" I don't look down on ANY of these girls, because I, too, am a teen mom and they are being moms just like they should. Most of the girls I know took on the responsibility as soon as they found out they were pregnant, but at the same time it's like, we didn't need to have kids so young. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Cole, obviously, but I honestly didn't need to put myself through motherhood at such a young age. I'm glad I had Cole, and I'm glad everything has turned out the way it has, but I keep thinking that it didn't have to be like this. I'm 19, going on 20, I should be enjoying the night life of the city, going out, having fun, focusing 98% on college, instead of the measley 45% that is actually spent on college. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is those girls that are in high school that are having sex UNPROTECTED or those girls that are pregnant now, really don't know what they are getting themselves into. I know I didn't. I knew it'd be hard, but I didn't know how HARD it'd actually be. I'm insane every day! I'm taking care of 2 kids at some times! And the thing is, I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

SO please, girls, if you're a teen, especially a very young teen, and you're having sex, either stop or use extra precaution. Everyone use to say "just at least use a condom!", but I'm telling you, use more than that. Go get on birth control and take it responsibly! If your parents won't let you, but you know you'll have sex anyway, go to Planned Parenthood or Birthright, they'll help you out! But just please, please, take ALL the precautions you can to not get pregnant. I'm not saying it's the worst thing in the world, it's one of the best, but you can do so much more in your life if you wait to have kids until you're married, or at least older and more stable in your career and life.
I don't think there's much more I can say. I just don't like seeing all these girls getting pregnant. It's so sad. It's sad I got pregnant, because I had so so so much going for me. Not that I can't do it now, it's not impossible. But it will take me a lot longer and I'll need to try much harder to get it all done. But I will.
Hope someone reads this at least... :/

Tuesday, March 15, 2011


Haven't been on here for a WHILE. Just deciding to update everyone. These past few weeks have been ROUGH. All 3 of us have been sick (Andrew, Cole, and I) and school has been piling on top of that, Andrew not having a job was on top of that, work for me was on top of THAT, and it was just a huge pile on my chest that would not let me breathe. FINALLY, Andrew got a job, working at least 30 hours a week which is AWESOME. And this week is crowded with just schooool, but so excited that next week is SPRING BREAK! woooo. not going to any awesome party paradise, but I'm just so excited to wake up when I feel like, be at home with my baby for most of the week, and just be a stay at home mom even though it's only that one week. Ahhh, can't wait!

Well, everyone have a good week! Muah*

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Teen Mom

Hey everyone. Hope everyone's doing well and having a great week.
Here, not so well. Cole's been sick, I've been sick and now we think Andrew has the flu! I've been missing so much school and it makes me feel like crap, but my family ALWAYS comes before ANYTHING. Anyway, I was watching Teen Mom last night and I'm kind of getting sick of the whole Adam Chelsea thing. If he's cheated on her multiple times, disrespected her multiple times, and can't even pay child support and rent because he's too lazy to get a job, IDK HOW she could be with him. She's a beautiful, fun, sweet, girl. She could probably get any guy she wanted. Oh well, not my life.
My life isn't MUCH different than those girls though. I'm not working more than 15 hours a week, but I go to school 5 days a week. I have a 7-month old baby. I'm broke as F****, stressed outta my mind, starved (jk) ha, and everything else that comes with being a teen and being a mom.
If anyone reads this blog at all, and you're younger than me or my age, BE CAREFUL WITH SEX. Teens today don't take enough precaution with sex. I know I didn't. Luckily I have a wonderful support system. Some people don't. So please, get on birth control, don't have sex if its not out of love!, or at least use a damn condom. It's not sexy, but come one, its NOT HARD! Just do it. Because you may have a good time while you're doing the deed, but a couple of weeks later when you feel just a little different....you may not be so happy when you pee on a stick and get a BIG FAT POSITIVE. :/ just saying. Stay A TEEN! WAIT to be a mom. Its wonderful, but HARD...

Anyway, have a good rest of the week!*

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Taylor Swift - Never Grow up

Your little hand's wrapped around my finger
And it's so quiet in the world tonight
Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming
So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light
To you everything's funny, you got nothing to regret
I'd give all I have, honey
If you could stay like that

Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple
I won't let nobody hurt you, won't let no one break your heart
And no one will desert you
Just try to never grow up, never grow up

You're in the car on the way to the movies
And you're mortified your mom's dropping you off
At 14 there's just so much you can't do
And you can't wait to move out someday and call your own shots
But don't make her drop you off around the block
Remember that she's getting older too
And don't lose the way that you dance around in your pj's getting ready for school

Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple
No one's ever burned you, nothing's ever left you scarred
And even though you want to, just try to never grow up

Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room
Memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home
Remember the footsteps, remember the words said
And all your little brother's favorite songs
I just realized everything I have is someday gonna be gone

So here I am in my new apartment
In a big city, they just dropped me off
It's so much colder that I thought it would be
So I tuck myself in and turn my night light on

Wish I'd never grown up
I wish I'd never grown up

Oh I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up
I could still be little
Oh I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up
It could still be simple
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple
Won't let nobody hurt you
Won't let no one break your heart
And even though you want to, please try to never grow up
Oh, don't you ever grow up
Oh, never grow up, just never grow up

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Happy (Late) Valentine's Day

Ah my beautiful baby boy :)
We are doing so well. It's so awesome to feel like our life is going "smoothly". Obviously we're not doing perfect. We're trying to save money so that when bills come we can pay them right away instead of waiting the full grace period we have. Oh well, I'm pretty happy right now and I think my baby boy is so that's awesome.
Otherwise, school sucks. I'm so sick of it. I know its whats right for Cole and I, but ugh, I can't get focused. Ever. It sucks having to be a full time student, as well. I would like to be a part time student so I could be with Cole more, but for my scholarships, I have to be a full time student. I guess wish me luck with that!

*Have a great day everyone :)

Friday, January 28, 2011

Rest in Peace, little one.

I took lit this candle in remembrence of Adam. Rest in Peace. YOU & your family are in our prayers. If you would like to know the story and post a candle picture, visit: http://natalieandadamsjourney.blogspot.com/

Friday, January 21, 2011


WHY do I keep watching Say Yes to the Dress?! I want to get married and go dress shopping!
BUT, Andrew and I decided when we get married, we want to be atleast 21 so we can drink at our reception. But i dont want to wait! That means I have to wait until atleast May 2013!!!
Oh, well. We're still pretty young, so maybe it will be good to wait!

Anyway, Cole is doing so good. He started daycare on Thursday and he's doing great! He loves all the attention from the little girls there. Plus, its pretty inexpensive and pretty close to the college campus. Good deal.
:) well, time for bed for me!

Monday, January 17, 2011


yes, I'm having a homework break at 1:10 in the morning. GOOD thing I don't have school tomorrow!
Anyway, my life is now consumed with:
1) Cole of course. Always my number one.
4)My relationship with Andrew

Isn't it horrible that Andrew has gone so low on my list? I wish we could spend more time together, but I go to school during the day and in the evening or on weekends I'm usually working, and if not, Cole takes up our lives. Good thing we love each other so much otherwise I don't think this relationship would last through this. But I am happy with him. I'm not happy that school and work consume my life though. Soo much homework already and of course I'm still working about 20 hours a week. :(
I wish I could be a stay at home mom! Those women that can are SUPER lucky.

Cole is growing up to be such a handsome baby boy. He's turning out to be so smart too. :) I love being a mom to him, and lately I've had baby fever although I really shouldn't!! We don't have the funds for another baby, I just really want another one. But I will enjoy the time that I have with Cole. He's so fun!
Well, I better get a little more homework done before it gets waaay too late.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

quick blog before I go to bed..

Tmr is my first day of college! YAYYY. I'm excited, nervous, terrified, exstatic!!
I don't even know what to say.
In other news..Cole is huge! He is so handsome and perfect.
He can sit up by himself for minutes at a time which is awesome to see, and he is trying to crawl! It's so funny. He sticks his butt up in the air while he gets on his knees, he just hasn't quite figured out how to get on his hands at the same time, HA.
I LOVE MY LIFE. I feel like everythings falling in to place, FINALLY. Andrew & I are super happy, we love having our own place, taking care of Cole everyday. He's our everything.
Well, I guess I should go to sleep. Or atleast try...
even though I'm not one bit tired... :/