Sunday, May 2, 2010

Isn't it sad when I'm sitting here thinking about how much I don't really love my life right now & I think "i need to blog"...? hahah. i laughed at myself.
Well, anyway, my life is the same. Andrew still has no job & no money and I'm still trying to make enough to pay my own bills and save up for the baby.
It sucks because I don't know how much longer I can put up with being the "caretaker" of our "little family." I'm sick of being the man in the relationship ha. Oh well, whatever. I knew what kind of person Andrew was before we got ourselves in this mess and now I have to deal with it.
I hate using the phrase "deal with it" because I guess, I don't know. It makes him sound like he's really hard to deal with. Which, he is at times, because he's one of the biggest ASSHOLES that I know. And I'm not using that term lightly. But I love the fucker so much. He's become my life because although from the outside he may just seem like a pest, he's not. (well not always). He does do a lot for me & he puts up with my pregnant, hormonal self. Which, well, he has to because he did get me pregnant in the first place. haaaa.

Anyway, I still feel kind of lonely dating him. It seems like he's there during the weekdays for me for an hour or two during the day & then it's his friends all the way. Then he'll come back to my house around 9 or 10 just to maybe watch a little bit of tv with me & then pass out. And don't get me started on the weekends! Psh, I barely see him then. His friends & habits dominate on the weekend while I'm working hard or just sitting at home waiting for a phone call! I'm pathetic sometimes, I think. I should just make other plans but it seems to never work out. When I do make other plans on the weekends, it seems like he actually wants to make time for me right away. But when I'm thinking oh maybe he'll actually hang out with me when I get off work, then he chooses his friends over me. I hate that.
What's so special about them? Nothing. I think most of his friends are low lifes. Not ALL of them. But a lot of his friends never even graduated from high school. & one of his friends, grrrr do I hate him, is always on his ass like HE'S his girlfriend! It's fucking rediculous! That's my job!

Last thing: my graduation party is tmr! I am SO excited. I can't believe I'm graduating in a week. And I only have 2 days of school left. WOW, how the time has flown. Next thing I know, I'll be having Cole & leaving my house for college & the real world.
I'm going to miss my mommyy.... :'(

Alright, well I hope everyone has a good night, good morning, good afternoon.


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