Saturday, April 10, 2010


...I really hate getting in the writing mood, because the only times I really get in the mood for writing are when I'm super happy and I have something to tell, or when I'm super down or mad. and this is not a happy time.
I haven't seen Andrew since umm, thursday night. He ditched me last night...
and told me he was going home because he was sleepy and his stomach hurt. And then I find out he was out until 5 AM this morning! Thanks, boyfriend :(
Then today, he told me he'd call at 4, because that's what time I'd be getting at work...Um, look at the time stamp of this blog...It's almost 9 PM. Thanks again, boyfriend.
I don't want to be done with him, though. I guess I just don't think it's fair for me to actually get mad at him, because I've wronged him in the past, but I don't keep going. I stopped what I did. I regret it everyday, and I've devoted everything I have to him and this baby. Sometimes I just don't feel like its fair to me. Especially because I feel he hasn't devoted anything to me or this baby. I mostly hurt for my baby though. I don't feel that Andrew's gunna grow up soon. I don't blame him, though. We're only 18, its young and I of all people understand that. He doesn't realize that I'm in the same situation he's in..
But still, its not fair that we BOTH made this kid and I'm the one thats suffereing for it. I don't get to do the things we used to. And I'm the one that's working and going to school for Cole, and I feel that he has no motivation to do either. Not even having Cole is enough motivation for him.
I guess if everything doesn't work out, I won't be the one missing out. Andrew will be missing out on his son, and as sad as that makes me, it's the choice he's making. I just thank God everyday that his and my family are so supportive and I know if he's not going to be there, they will.
I love both of my families so much.

Anyway, another thing on my mind is PROM. I got my dress to fit, I'm getting it back on Monday and then I'm going to go look for jewelry. It's going to be a great night!

And guess what, May 4th is coming so soon (that's my last day of my high school career!) and May 9th is right after that. It's so amazing that I've been able to get through high school. CRAZY! COLLEGE, HERE I COME!!!



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