Friday, April 22, 2011

VENT..and other things.

Ok, so I love Andrew. A lot. Obviously why I've been with him for 2+ years. Probably why I've put up with a bunch of his shit..
That sounds bad, but really. He's had a job off and on during our relationship. All his money went to him, even when I was pregnant he didn't help me pay for anything, I paid for it or asked my mom. When Cole was born, Andrew pretty much quit his job. I don't really know why. But anyway, it's been such a struggle for Andrew to keep a job...let alone get one! Ugh, it's so frustrating!
Also, he did have a job at a supermarket but got fired because he called of 3 times or whatever. So anyway, the time he was there he made about $600, and I think I saw about $200-$300 of it for bills or whatever it was. Umm, so where did the other half of it go? Um, I don't really know. Something I don't approve of, thats for sure.
Anyway, although he's given me money, it's been very minimal. I've been working MY ASS OFF the entire time we've lived on our own. I started off by working 5 days a week, sometimes split shifts, and then paying all of the bills. by my damn self. Then when I started school, I started only working 3 days a week and still paying for things by myself. He got a job, barely paid for anything. And now, hm, I have about $100 of his money to pay the bills with. That's awesome. I have so much to pay for this month and I asked him for the other $100 he was going to give me and said "um it's my money!"
ARE YOU SERIOUS. We live in a crappy apartment we can barely pay for, have dish, phone & internet that we can barely pay for, have to pay for electricity, energy, gas for the car, Cole's things, but oh, I'm sorry Andrew, I didn't realize it's your money. You're right, you do what you want with it. It's not like all of my money goes to the bills, you & Cole. It's not like I make sure you two are taken care of before I even THINK about myself. No. I haven't been able to really buy anything for myself since before I was effing pregnant. But yeah, I'm sorry, I forgot it was your money..

So this month, as I'm struggling to pay for anything right now, I'm crying about everyday. The stress of paying the bills, doing this, doing that, always falls on me. I'm the one that has to make sure everything gets paid. And you know, I wouldn't even mind if that was my responsibility if I had more help actually paying for it. But I'm pissed. I'm sick of living with someone that thinks it's okay to act like they have no responsibilities. I'm sick of living with someone that only care about themself, and only wants to take care of themself. I'm sick of living with someone that leaves all of the fiscal responsibilites to a mother, hard effing worker, and full-time student. It's shit. It's a shitty situation and it's not fair to me. Or Cole.
I don't know what to do, what action to take. I don't want to break my family apart, and I know if I do I'll hear hell from ALL sides, but I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm sick of being the only adult in my house..

Anyway, I hope everyone has a happy easter! I'm going to my mom's house for the weekend, I'm SO excited to see her and spend time with her.


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