Thursday, January 21, 2010

I'm not sure what's right anymore.

I just got off of the phone with Colin, who is a very good friend of mine. He really made me think, but now I don't know what I'm doing, what I should do, or what's going to happen. He really boggled my mind, in a good way and a bad way. He's an amazing guy, and I wish Andrew could be more like him. He knows how to treat a girl, and be there for a girl too. Anyway, he opened my eyes to Andrew even now. Just because it's good right now, will it be good in the next 4 years? 5 years? the rest of our lives?
Ugh, I'm so confused on what to do. I feel that I need to be with Andrew, but I keep thinking: he doesn't have a job, no car, he doesn't even show up to school barely. And I: have had the same job for 2 years, just bought a new car, and I try very hard in school. He looks like a loser next to me and I HATE that. I know the kind of man my baby and I need, I just want Andrew to be that man. Maybe it'll hit him once I have the baby, but then again, maybe it'll be too late for me to be happy with him.
All I know, is that it is good now, but if he trys to pull ANY bullshit with me, I'm done. I don't need to deal with someone who doesn't want to make me happy 24/7.

All I want to say, is that we thought of names and I'm excited! I'm just looking forward to the baby and I don't need a man there if he's not going to be there! I love my little cub and when he or she is here, I know I'll be the best mommy I can be <3


Post a Comment