I feel so pathetic! I have no life, seriously. At least that's what I feel like.
I miss my friends. But now that I think about it, I guess they weren't really my friends. I guess they were just people I partied with and only called me when I did party. Now that I'm pregnant, I don't get one call, let alone a little text to hang out. BARELY anyway. And it's like well fuck you too. I wish I could be out on weekends partyin' it up like I used to be! It was fun and careless and I loved it! And now I don't really have those people that I used to have so much fun with.
Also, my boyfriend. UGH! :( It's like on the weekends he has no girlfriend. It sucks. If I do see him on the weekends, it's like at 11 o 'clock at night and it's for an hour because he wants to go home or I'm just very tired. Otherwise, he'll just ditch me. Or not call, or something. It's fucking heartbreaking. Haven't seen him since thursday, and I don't think he cares. But if I say anything to him, he always complains that I nag, so why the fuck say anything anyway!? GRR.
Well, today, I got a letter from Medicaid saying that I will no longer get medical assistance because I failed to give my caseworker info and i'm PISSED. Ugh, fucking cunt. She calls me one morning saying that she needs some of my mom's info & some of my sister's info. The catch is that she needs it all THAT DAY! and my mom is busy at work and I'm at school so wtf? Well anyway, my mom DID what she asked and gave her the information she asked for and faxed it to her before 4. And now I get this. I got this letter and bawled because what can I do? I don't have insurance because my mom got rid of it because it was expensive and never paid for anything. SO now I'm fucked. I can't pay for every doctor's visit. I can barely pay for my car payment and insurance right now. :'(
I don't know what to do about anything anymore. I'm so bummed and hurt and shocked. I'm sorry my little baby bean. I don't know if I can do this.