Sunday, February 7, 2010


This weekend hasn't been my favorite. I've definitely felt unloved and huge. My fricken work pants don't fit me, and my jeans are getting there as well.. GR
I hate feeling this way. Anyway, I guess Andrew got sick of me this week and decided to only spend a few hours with me this weekend and not see me at all today. It sucks because, I know I messed up, but I'm trying to make things more about him too, cuz I thought maybe he felt left out because I was getting attention. But now, I'm not getting any attention. I feel like I've lost all of my friends. I don't hang out with any of them, I don't even know when any of them are free because Briana works all the time and when she's not, she has plans. I feel stupid asking her all the time because the last time I asked her to hang out and stay the night all I got as a reply was "I have plans already" So I'm like cooool. And Chelsey will always be my best friend, but again, always working when I'm not and I'm working when she's not and then plans fall thru. Then my other friends like Aubrey, Rikki, and Justine seem to get a hold of me only to tell me they miss me, not to actually hang out with me. I don't know, its really tough. I feel like I have no one. Not even my family because my sister is always with her boyfriend and I love hanging out with my mom, but most of the time she is hanging out with my cousins and my aunt. But I don't know, I guess I must just be a drama queen. It's probably all in my head.

anyway, I'm like very sick of school right now, even this 3 day week seems like it's going to be a drag. I don't want to do it anymore. :( I'm so sick of dealing with life, and the sucky part is that I got myself in to everything that I'm in. I don't know if I can do this, I feel like I can barely keep myself alive and well, how can I be a mom to a precious little creature? I don't think I can. I'm not sure what to think or do right now. I guess, whatever. I don't know.

Everyone have a good night, please, for me? <3


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